Page 63 of Late Nights

He and I both nodded. “Yeah,” we said at the same time, our voices lacking enthusiasm.

We stopped at the third-floor landing in front of Cannon and West’s apartment. West seemed to have just now noticed something was off between Cannon and me.

I was worried he was going to ask us what was going on, but instead he said to Cannon, “I’ll see you tomorrow at work.” And then turning to me, he said, “Good night, sis.”

We all said goodbye, and then it was just me and Cannon in the apartment. Alone.

The silence was deafening. We stood there for a moment, both of us seeming unsure of how to act now that we’d kissed. Or maybe that was just me.

I took a big breath, working to calm my nerves. “Well, I’m going to go unpack and head to bed.” I moved to walk past him, but his hand landed on my arm, stopping me.

“Demi, wait.” He turned so we were face to face. “What’s wrong?”

Was he really asking me what’s wrong? If he was going to ask me the clichéd guy question, then I was going to give him the clichéd girl answer.

“Nothing.”

“Then why have you been avoiding me?”

I tapped my finger against my chin. “Hmm…I wonder why a girl would avoid a guy who kissed her but has no interest in being with her?” My anger—which was really just masking my hurt—made my sarcasm come out thick.

“It’s not that I’m not interested,” he said, annoyance flaring in his eyes, his hand dropping from my arm. “You know that.”

I did know that. It didn’t make it hurt any less, though.

“It doesn’t matter,” I said, trying for nonchalant. “I need to get to bed. I have to be up early for class tomorrow, and then I have a shift at The Bridger.” I continued making my way to the hallway leading to West’s room.

“So this is how it’s going to be between us now?” His disbelief held a hint of anger.

I whipped around, my anger overpowering his. “What did you expect? Friends with benefits?”

He scowled. “No, of course not.”

“Then what?”

He ran a hand through his hair, pulling on the ends. “I don’t know. I thought we’d go back to how we were before we kissed. Making breakfast together, playing video games, and…”

His voice trailed off, but I knew what he was going to say.

“Flirting?” I asked incredulously.

“I was going to say teasing, but yeah, I guess it was more flirting than anything.” His shoulders slumped. “I don’t regret kissing you, but I didn’t know I was going to be losing my friend because of it.”

His words made me flinch. I had done one of things he had been most worried about when it came to us trying to be together—turning my back on our friendship. Cannon’s fear of abandonment ran deep, and I hadn’t done a good job of showing him I wouldn’t run at the first sign of an issue.

Realizing my reaction probably hadn’t helped ease any of his concerns, I let out a reluctant sigh. I had been overreacting and now I was slightly embarrassed. He’d been open about his fears, about how he didn’t want to change anything between us. He’d been nothing but honest and up-front with me, and I was acting like he hadn’t.

“Cannon, I’m sorry.” All the frustration left my body. “I know our friendship has become important to you. It’s important to me too. I just felt rejected and clearly didn’t handle it well. I need a little more time,” I said, trying to be honest. “Let me get my thoughts and feelings settled, and we can go back to just being us, Cannon and Demi, forever friends.” I hoped the slice of hurt I felt saying those last two words didn’t show on my face.

He nodded but didn’t say anything.

Grabbing my luggage once again, I finally made it to the bedroom, shutting the door behind me. I pressed my back against the closed door, my body sagging in relief.

I hadn’t been lying when I’d told him I needed some time. I was certain I could get my feelings back to where they’d been before Lake Tahoe. I’d probably never get them back to where they’d been before I moved in and really got to know him, but it would have to be enough. Being in each other's lives as friends only would be better than nothing at all.

I walked over to the bed, falling back, and stared up at the ceiling.

And okay, fine, maybe there was a small part of me that hoped that one day in the future he’d be willing to take a leap of faith with me. I still believed we could be good together. If he needed me to be patient, I would. I just worried about how long it would take. Or if it would ever happen at all.

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