Page 102 of Moving Forward

I pull into my parents’ driveway, the workday over. I got a job at the local library to pass the time. I've loved interacting with people and making book recommendations. Even though my free time drags by—because I spend it hoping and praying for a call from Cain—my time there passes quickly.

It helps that Cain was right—Ellie has made several trips to visit me. I even went on a minivacation to New York City with her and Danny. It was the first time I didn’t notice Ethan’s absence. Being with them finally felt normal—like I’d finally adjusted to life without him.

It only took two and a half years, and Cain.

My heart stutters when I catch sight of a familiar, beat-up truck parked next to my dad’s car.

It can’t be.

Please let it be.

Finally.

That’s when I see him sitting on the steps, lost in thought. I quickly park my car and get out, on autopilot. He looks up when he hears my footsteps, mouth pulling into an unabashed grin.

“Peaches,” he says.

“Cain.”

In person he looks even healthier. He’s gained some weight—which I hadn’t realized he needed, what with all that muscle. His hair is shorter, and his stubble is neatly trimmed. His eyes are more focused than I've ever seen them.

More importantly . . . tears fill my eyes. Despite the chill, he’s wearing a T-shirt that shows his arms. There aren’t any bandages or fresh cuts, just the faded scars of the man he used to be.

“You’re here,” I whisper.

“I am. Been here for a few hours. Your mom tried to get me to come inside, but I needed to see you as soon as you got home. Couldn’t waste another minute.” He stands and starts toward me. My god, my memory doesn’t hold a candle to how handsome he really is. “Do you still love me, Peaches?”

I nod so quickly my neck pops.

He laughs. “Good. Because I’ve only fallen more in love with you every day we’ve been apart.” He stops in front of me and swallows. “I know this is the reverse order of things, but I have a ring in my pocket and a question to ask, but I want to talk first. Is there a place we can sit?”

A ring in his pocket and a question to ask? Forget talking, I want that first. I somehow manage to nod and lead him to the backyard, where my grandpa built a little sitting area surrounded by plants. A serene place for the heavy conversation we’re about to have.

As soon as we sit down, Cain scoots his chair closer and kisses me, long and slow, as if he’s making up for all the lost time. When he pulls away, he rests his forehead against mine. “I needed that.”

“So did I. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” he tells me.

I touch his cheek, needing to feel him to know he’s really here. “Are you doing better?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t. I made a promise to you.”

“Thank goodness,” I breathe. “Erin has been keeping me updated, but I needed to see you, hear it from you, to really believe it.”

He chuckles. “She’s been keeping me updated about you too. Everything you’ve been doing—the job, the trip with Ellie—makes me so proud of you. I’ve always admired how brave you are. Even when life is difficult, you endure.”

“You do too,” I point out.

“Yeah, now I realize you’re right. My therapist taught me how to draw strength from my experiences, and not let them torture me. I can acknowledge the mistakes I made, knowing I won’t make them again.” He turns his face to kiss my palm. “I’m not worthless.”

“No, you’re not,” I agree. “You never were.” I drop my hand to his arm, tracing his scars. “And this?”

“No cutting since before you left. I’ll admit there were days when I wanted to. I hated being away from you and it took its toll on me. But I worked through those emotions and, eventually, I didn’t feel the need to hurt myself anymore.”

“I’m so proud of you.”

“You know what? I am too,” he admits. “I know I’ll continue to need to work on myself, but I’m ready to stop worrying about what I think I deserve, and start living my life.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a little black box. “I want to live that life with you, Peaches.”

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