Page 17 of The Fallback

‘Oh, right,’ Rosie attempted casually, quickly taking a sip of her coffee and scalding her mouth in the process.

Nadia pretended to ignore Rosie’s false breeziness. ‘I’ve been thinking about his proposal. About you being his fallback,’ she said bluntly.

Rosie didn’t reply, preferring instead to see where this conversation was going before she had to respond. She pretended to brush non-existent crumbs off her jumper.

‘I’ve been thinking about it most of the week,’ continued Nadia, taking a bite of one of the pastries she'd brought. ‘And…’ she paused, mouth full of croissant, ‘I think you should take him up on it.’

This was most definitely not the direction Rosie had expected. For all her external chaos, Nadia was sharp-minded and observant. She would not be making such a suggestion without having really thought things through. For a moment, Rosie simply stared at her and then, aware that her own croissant was inelegantly hovering halfway to her mouth, she lowered it carefully.

‘Well, that’s an interesting idea,’ she said, in exactly the tone that said it was not an interesting idea at all, that in fact it was a completely terrible idea and that they should just go back to their coffees and discuss lab reports and pretend Rosie had never told Nadia about Mitch’s proposal in the first place.

Unfortunately, it didn’t seem that Rosie had effectively conveyed this meaning. They eyed each other slightly warily, wondering who was going to speak first.

Eventually Nadia put down her croissant on Rosie’s desk and held her hands up placatingly. ‘I know, I know, it sounds like I’m crazy, but just hear me out.’

Rosie nodded, indicating that Nadia had her permission to continue.

Nadia started carefully. ‘I know we never really talk about serious “life” things. Nico tells me I lack empathy.’

Rosie risked a small smile, just imagining the reaction poor Nico got to this revelation.

‘But I’ve been thinking about things a lot over the past couple of days and I realised that we’ve never really had the “baby” conversation.’

Rosie raised her eyebrows, wondering if she was about to get propositioned by yet another one of her friends. Nadia saw the look on Rosie’s face. ‘No, not like that!’ she protested. ‘You know, the, do you want them, don’t you want them. I guess I felt it wasn’t any of my business but Nico says this makes me emotionally disengaged and a bad friend.’

‘It doesn’t!’ Rosie said emphatically.

‘OK, well I’m just going to come out and say it – I sort of presumed you didn’t because you always seem to be busy when I invite you round to mine. Which is fine!’ Nadia added quickly. ‘Because, to be honest, if I didn’thaveto spend time with my kids I’d probably make excuses too.'

Rosie spluttered at this, ‘No!’ she exclaimed, horrified that Nadia would misinterpret her reasons for not visiting and think this was about her children, who seemed, on the few brief occasions Rosiehadmet them, as delightfully clever and crazy as their parents. ‘No,’ she said again, ‘it’s not that at all.’ Rosie looked up at the ceiling, wishing this awkward exchange away. ‘It’s just that you only ever seem to invite me round when you or Nico are trying to set me up with someone.’ She blushed more furiously.

Nadia stared at her, ‘Do I?’ she said in bafflement, ‘Do we? I hadn’t ever noticed.’

Rosie looked incredulous. ‘Really? You’ve really never noticed that the only time you invite me round is when there happens to be a single man at your dinner table as well?’ Rosie was trying to keep her tone measured but she simply couldn’t believe that Nadia hadn’t made the connection.

‘But…we invited you to our parties,’ Nadia said a little desperately.

‘Yes, and I’ve come to those,’ Rosie faltered. ‘Well, most of those.’ She began to mentally run through her head the parties she had missed. ‘But I can’t remember a time when you’ve invited me over just to have dinner with the two of you, or for lunch with your family.’

Nadia’s face looked distraught. ‘I had honestly never noticed. I mean, perhaps, now you come to mention it…’ She tailed off. ‘Was it really that obvious?’ Rosie nodded her head.

‘Because it wasn’t obvious to me,’ Nadia shook her head a little sadly, ‘but this is probably why Nico says I lack emotional intelligence.’

Seeing the look on her friend’s face, Rosie leapt in. ‘Of course you don't…but perhaps it would be nice just to be invited to have dinner with you in your home rather than being invited to make up the numbers, or to try and set me up with someone?’

Nadia looked sheepish. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said, ‘now you mention it you’re probably right. I hadn’t really thought about it before as a set up. We just have a few single male friends, I guess. And it’s always nice to have more people around.’

Rosie softened. ‘It’s OK. But you know, I don’t really want to be set up with people all the time.’

‘Is it really that bad?’ asked Nadia.

Rosie winced. ‘Yes,’ she nodded. ‘It’s just so painful and awkward. I end up feeling like the desperate colleague who nobody wants.’

Nadia looked stricken. ‘I’m so sorry Rosie. I would never think of you that way. If anything, it’s because you’re so great and I just want to show you off to people!’

Rosie smiled in spite of herself. ‘That’s sweet, but really, next time maybe check with me first if there’s someone you think I’d want to meet?’

Nadia nodded. ‘Of course. And it’s just what I was saying before. We never really talk about this stuff so I just presumed you were happy with your life. But subconsciously I must have been keen to marry you off to someone? I am sorry Rosie,’ she repeated. ‘Forgive me?’

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