Page 40 of Single Mom for the Bikers

“I haven’t known you that long but even I can tell that that little girl has never known a day in her life where she wasn’t loved. Come here.” Not giving her the chance to resist, I pull Shelby into my lap and wrap my arms around her. “You’ll fuck up. We all do, but she’ll grow up knowing that you’re her fucking ride or die.”

Shel blinks, then quickly looks over at Havoc and Phoenix. They've got Mia running between them, and she's laughing the kind of belly laugh that's impossible not to smile at. “You think?”

“I fucking know it.”

“You shouldn’t swear so much.” Her smile looks a little less wistful now, and she settles into my lap, leaning against my chest where I catch the sweet scent of her shampoo.

“Fuck doesn’t count.”

“Does too.” She laughs and runs her fingers over my hand. “I slept with Havoc.”

“Yeah, I kinda noticed.” Having her touch me while she’s in my fucking lap is making it real hard not to get real fucking hard.

“I told him about… us. Are you mad? He said you wouldn’t be.”

I groan and shift my position. “Nah, I’m not mad, but baby, I’m doing my best to keep this a family friendly picnic and if you keep talking about this I’m going to need some warning before you stand up, or it’s going to get real inappropriate real fast. Are you trying to say you want to be with him? Just him?”

Phoenix looks our way, and smirks.

“Do you—Oh God. This is so dumb.”

“Just say it. I’m the last fucking person who would judge you for not saying something right. How about we promise to always be straight with each other? Even when it feels stupid.”

She nods, keeping her gaze focused anywhere but me. “Deal. I think I’ve been a little in love with Havoc for a long time. Not like I’ve been pining for him all these years or anything, but like it’s this bond that’s just been waiting for me to notice it’s there.”

Good for him, the lucky asshole. I’m not sure I like where this is going, but sitting in my fucking lap while she’s saying it is giving me mixed damn signals. “Right.”

“When Phoenix crashed into my life and dragged the rest of you guys with him, it was like a little piece of me woke up. Nothing about what’s happened since has been easy, but this? The four of us? This feels easy, and I don’t know what to do about it. I can’t have feelings for all of you.”

“Why?”

“Because!” she says, laughing, but then her voice turns soft and when she speaks it’s like she’s just repeating something she’s been told. “Because the only women bikers share, are the ones that don’t matter, and I can’t do that. I can’t do that for me, and I can’t do that for Mia.”

“I fucking dare you to say that at the clubhouse. Half our fucking club is shacked up with three or four guys to a woman at this point. You’ve met Alessa. You think she’d put up with anything less than everything from those guys? They’d laugh in your face.” Fuck, this might be easier if I wasn’t scared to fuck it up. Up to now, I’ve always wanted to make things good for whoever I was with, but I didn’t give much of a shit about them sticking around long term. Shelby’s the first woman that’s made me think maybe I could have what some of the others have.

“I don’t know… Havoc said you guys like to share, but I didn’t know if he was just saying stuff. Dirty talk, you know? I've never…” She wets her lips nervously. “I don’t even know how Phoenix feels about me.”

As if in response, Phoenix and Havoc come our way. Phoenix is carrying Mia, who has her arms locked tight around his neck. Her clothes are covered in grass stains and dirt, and her head is resting on his shoulder. It should look wrong because he’s one of the hardest motherfuckers I know, but that little girl knows she can trust him, and I think he’d snap the neck of anyone who tried to hurt her or her mother. I don’t think Phoenix not wanting her is a problem.

Oh sweet Jesus fuck. “Would you like to try? We'll show you how. Trial run. Trust us. We're rough on the outside, but we can be real fucking gentle when we need to.”

She traps her lower lip between her teeth, a curious spark of excitement in her big brown eyes. “But not too gentle, right?”

23

PHOENIX

I’m feelinglike a third wheel and I don’t fucking like it. I know Havoc’s been with her, and the way Shel was all up in Sledge’s lap, there’s obviously something going on there too. She’s never gonna get between the three of us, we’re too tight for that, but I need to know where the fuck I stand in this.

Something for me to figure out, I guess.

In the common room of the clubhouse, I slide onto one of the stools in front of the bar.

Jewel, Chef’s old lady, is manning it today. Her hair’s bright red with purple streaks. She puts a beer in front of me, then leans her elbow on the bar, pausing to chat. It’s pretty quiet right now. “Where’s the new girl?”

I take a drag from my beer. It goes down nice and cool. “Shelby. She’s over at Alessa’s. Her kid’s about the same age as their oldest boy. New look?”

She runs her fingers through her hair. “Like it? Having Kaylee around is awesome. Even the sluts don’t really mind losing Nitro, Tank and Wraith when it means having an on-site stylist.”

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