Page 39 of Single Mom for the Bikers

Any worries that Mia might be scared evaporate the moment she gets into the padded seat and buckled in. She’s wearing Izzy’s old helmet, and she thinks it's the coolest fucking thing. It's got purple and pink stripes, and a low ridge of rubber spikes over the top. Shelby’s badass little biker chicklet. As soon as I startthe bike, she sits up as much as she can in her seat and makes pew pew sounds while she fires her finger lasers. Shel shakes her head with a smile as she gets on behind Havoc.

“Ready?” I ask my tiny copilot.

“Yay!” She stretches both of her hands up into the air, and then we're off.

Phoenix takes the lead, with me and Mia in the middle so Shel can keep an eye on us from behind. We stick to the back roads, not wanting to deal with too much traffic or high speeds. Today is more about showing Shel and Mia that our lives aren’t death and fear all the time. I glance down at my little charge. She's all fucking smiles, her hands still up so she can catch as much of the air rushing by as she can. It’s in her fucking blood, and even if the man who should have stepped up to be her father can’t show her, we will.

I never thought I’d have kids, but I always wanted ‘em. Probably a terrible fucking idea, but it is what it is. Mom and Dad probably tried their fucking best, but they didn’t know what to do with me. I was too awkward, too out of control. Too much of a fuckup. They had other kids to worry about and washed their hands of me when I ended up in juvie.

Thank fuck for Grandma. I’d probably be dead without her. Let me be myself, made me wanna do that for someone else. She was real family, the same way the Screaming Eagles have become my real family. Me, Havoc and Phoenix? We’re all a little fucked up, but Shelby sees me—the real me—and fuck, if that doesn't feel good.

On the old parkway, the speed goes up a bit, but most of the traffic’s on the highway these days. I check on Mia. She'sgripping the handles on the inside of the sidecar, but she's leaning in and doesn't look nervous at all. I can't see her face through the helmet, but she looks all good. I raise my hand in a thumbs-up so Shelby and Havoc can know everything’s fine.

Phoenix pulls off after a couple exits, leading the way. The city's well behind, and hills are rising in front of us, foothills before the mountains. The road winds upwards, in lazy zig zags until we reach a plateau where there’s room to park and look out over the area. One of my favorite places.

Once we're stopped, I unbuckle Mia and help her get the helmet off. “You okay, kid?”

She fucking beams up at me. “That was fun! We went so fast! Zoooom!” She flies her hand through the air like an airplane. It's impossible not to laugh at her enthusiasm.

I lift her out of the sidecar, and the moment I put her down on the asphalt, she races over to Shelby, who's turned towards us. “Mommy! We went super-fast!”

“I know, honey. Was it fun?” Shel catches Mia and lifts her up so she can see better. She points out at the city that spreads out far below us. Beyond that, so faint you can hardly spot the blue-gray line, is the ocean. “Look how high up we are. That's the city we live in. Park Glen is out there, and our house.”

“Woow.” Mia reaches out like she can touch it. “Where’s Izzy and Dante’s house?”

I take her hand and rotate it until she’s pointing towards the club. We can’t make out the details from here, but I’ve done this same thing myself and know where to look. Shelby’s arm goes around my waist and for a moment, we’re all looking together and it feels… fucking perfect.

Havoc takes a blanket out of his saddlebag and Phoenix grabs the cooler out of the back of the sidecar. We head over to an old walnut tree where there’s shade. It’s just starting to flower, dripping with long grape-like blooms. The plateau is part parking lot, but mostly park, with solid fences around the steep parts.

As soon as the blanket’s down and the cooler’s open, Mia drops to her knees and starts poking around in the food. “Easy, hun.” Shel tugs her back a little. “Wait for everyone. What did you pack?” She looks at me first.

I shrug. “I make a good chili, but that’s about it.”

She turns to Havoc.

“Don’t look at me. I’m not even allowed near the microwave.”

“Phoenix, really?” Shelby laughs. “I wouldn’t have guessed that.”

“Had to fucking learn, didn’t I?” he mumbles, pulling plastic containers out of the cooler.

Mia laughs when he swears and Shelby puts her hands over her daughter’s ears. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean?—”

“It’s nothing. Just some subs. There’s grilled chicken in here, meatballs in this one, and I made a few PB and J sandwiches, just in case.”

“No caviar?” He glares at me and throws a bottle of soda at my head. I duck and grab it. “Man, the service around here’s a little rough.”

Mia snuggles up next to her mom and giggles.

A half hour or so later, Havoc and Phoenix are playing tag with Mia, while I'm sitting with my back up against the tree and just looking out over the view. Shelby sits next to me. “This is nice.”

“Yeah? It’s not exactly Hawaii, but we figured you could both use a break.”

She smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach her beautiful brown eyes. “I don’t need Hawaii. I’m just so tired of running. I thought I was done, but here we are. Look at her. She doesn’t know how messed up her life has been yet, but one day she will, and I hope she doesn’t hate me for it.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Shel turns my way in surprise. “No?”

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