Page 96 of Useless Love

I cover my mouth as a sob escapes. I shouldn’t have left. I should've stayed in NYC because what if Father dies? I could’ve spent these past few weeks with him, instead I just left everyone.

“I don’t want to upset you,” Ari says. “But…we need to talk about this.”

“About what?”

“Your new husband. Listen, I know you don’t want to hear this, but he has the most reasons to shoot Father.”

I sigh violently; when will she stop accusing him? “He wouldn’t do that to me. He knows I love my family and he wants peace.”

“Listen,” Ari implores. “I know you love him, but don’t be blind. Maybe the truth is that his father wanted peace, but Carmine secretly didn’t so he took control. I’m not saying he doesn’t love you, but maybe he thinks no one will find out. He could’ve been smart about it and he’s framing the shooting on another organization so—”

“Shut up! Will you fucking shut up?” Ari falls silent and waits while I process my thoughts. “I’ll text you when I land,” I tell her, then I hang up.

I lay my head back and cry for a long time. I don’t want to believe Ari or let her manipulate me again…but something is nagging at me. I can’t stop thinking about Carmine’s phone conversations I overheard.

“...should they strike while his guard is down?”

“Yes, take the old man out.”

“Just take care of the old man already and don’t disturb me.”

I know that it’s forbidden for sons to kill their fathers in organizations like ours, so what old man was Carmine talking about? Could the “old man” really be my father?

I press a hand to my chest, feeling faint. Maybe I don’t know Carmine as much as I thought. He has shown that he has a short temper, and I’ve seen him lash out. What if he really held the grudge against my family for killing his siblings? Did I help him do this to my father but getting my father to trust him?

I feel sick, so I grab a bag from the seat pouch and start gagging. But considering I didn’t eat anything this morning, nothing comes up. I thought losing my brothers and all the funerals were difficult to get through, but this may be the worst day of my life. My father might die and the man I love may have caused it.

When the plane lands, I text Ari and then hop in a taxi to the hospital. On the way, Carmine calls, so I turn my phone off. I need to face one thing at a time. I need to focus on my father first before speaking with Carmine. He might lie, he might tell the truth…I don’t know what to believe. I just need to know my father is going to survive this.

The long car ride from JFK airport to Manhattan seems longer than the plane trip. Why the hell is everyone outside today? Don’t they have jobs? Fuck!

Running into the hospital, I’m scared that I’ll find out my father is dead. When I find my family and see how much Mother and Victoria are sobbing, I freeze.

“Is he…” I start to say.

“No change,” Ari says quickly.

I burst out crying as I move toward my family. The four of us, even Ari, gather in a hug and cry. Mother’s eyes are a mess and Victoria looks like she might faint any minute. All I kept thinking is my marriage was supposed to prevent this. Father wanted to prevent his family from having another painful moment like this, yet here we are again.

God, why won’t this end?

After we have all embraced, there is nothing to do but sit and wait. We have been down this road before.

Ari turns to Nico. “I need you to order our soldiers to put more men on father’s security,” she tells Nico. “He’s too vulnerable. Someone can sneak in here and cut off his life support.”

“Me?” Nico asks.

“Yes! You are the last male Bencivenga. You’re the last standing son. If you can’t bark orders, what are you good for?”

I approach. “Ari, be gentle. He’s stressed. Can’t someone else handle this?”

Nico crosses his arms. “Yeah. Uncle Agostini is dealing with things. But you are jumping down my fucking throat.”

Ari only smirks while I tell Nico, “Keep calm. We’re family and Father is fighting for his life.”

With the most threatening look I’ve ever seen, Ari glares at Nico and says,“Slit your wrist right now if you can’t do something simple like call for security.. You are essentially useless.”

I jump in to deflect. “Both of you, stop. And what the hell is wrong with you, Arianna? Nico is—”

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