Page 102 of Useless Love

I’m too frightened to make a sound. Carmine looks stark raving mad, his eyes bloodshot. He’s in his normal suit, but with no tie. For a long moment, neither of us speak. Then, out of nowhere, tears began to flow down my cheeks.

“You don’t get to fucking do that,” he whispers in anger.

But I only cry harder; I can’t stop myself. I can tell he knows something. He’s either pissed that I left and haven’t taken his calls, or he knows the truth.

He only snorts, the man I love suddenly gone. This is a Carmine I’ve never met. Is he going to kill me? What a cruel twist of fate—I fought so hard to save him, yet I’m the one getting murdered.

“Cry those fucking tears,” he says in a dark voice. “Let them fall down your lying scheming face.”

I hug my waist, still crying.

“Well, aren’t you going to say anything to the man you lied to? Did you ever fucking love me, Gaia?”

“Yes!” I croak out. “I love you more than anything. More than life. So if you’re going to hate me, just pull the trigger.”

He actually cocks the gun and I gasp, squeezing my eyes tight. I turn to face him, leaning forward so the barrel of the gun presses against my forehead. I don’t think I’ve ever done anything so brave in my entire life, but the truth is, I don’t want to live without Carmine. And maybe this is my punishment for all the lies.

If God is punishing me, I will accept my fate.

As the cold metal of the gun clashes with my hot skin, I whisper through my sobs, “Just please don’t kill my family. Please. I don’t know why…Why you shot Father. Maybe…you want revenge. But, please, Carmine. End the feuding. I love my family. If you ever…If you ever cared for me…please spare them…” I hiccup, unable to contain my emotions.

Carmine doesn’t say anything, only holds the gun steady.

Maybe he’s looking for a true confession, so I let it all out. “I pretended to be Arianna because all I’ve ever wanted is peace. Ari manipulated me a bit, but part of it made sense. She’s not good with people. You’ve met her. She thought I could win you over and get you to marry. Then she was going to swap on our wedding night.”

“So everyone knew?” he finally says.

“Yes. They knew, but my sister is the one who started it, not Father. Father didn’t have any ulterior motives. But then…I started to love you. I found out Ari wanted to poison you, and I didn’t want you or your family hurt. Father agreed to let us marry right away then he put Ari under house arrest so she wouldn’t do something foolish. But please don’t take revenge on her. I think she finally let her grudge go. She only misses her brothers. You can understand that.” I take a few breaths, suddenly feeling more free now that the truth is out. My sobs are also lessening and my body relaxes. “That’s why I deceived you. First, I was tricked. Then I wanted to keep you safe. This war, all the fighting…I’m just tired. So please don’t go after my family. Please just take your revenge out on me and then let it go.” I meet his gaze finally. His eyes are hard and icy, but I continue, “I just want you to be happy. I’m asking God right now to heal the anger in your heart and just be happy.” I close my eyes again, a strange peace settling over me. “That’s my confession. I’m ready now…” I hold my breath and wait. If God forgives me, maybe I’ll see my brother’s smiling faces again.

And please God, let my death stop the fighting. Help my family make peace so they don’t go after Carmine. I was the one who betrayed him, afterall.

Carmine lowers the pistol. “Do you really think I’d be so stupid as to start a war I can’t fucking win? Risk Mother and Carla’s lives by attacking your father? I thought you knew I was smarter than that.”

I glance at the gun, now resting on his lap. “But…when I heard you talking to someone about taking care of an old man…”

“I was talking about my own father. The asshole keeps causing problems.”

I look at my hands. “Is that the truth?”

“Yes, it’s the fucking truth!” he roars. “All these damn months by my side, and you don’t trust me?”

“I don’t know what to believe anymore.”

“No, Gaia, that should be my fucking line. You were the only one dishonest.” He shakes his head. “You are one piece of fucking work. Claiming to love me while lying to my face every fucking day. Now the liar doesn't trust me. Imagine that."

“Tell me you didn’t do this. I need to hear you say it, Carmine.”

He leans closer, reaching through the window of the confession box to my side. He cups the back of my neck, yanking my face closer so I can taste his breath as he speaks. “Tell me everything wasn’t a fucking lie. That some part of what we had was fucking real.”

“Everything was real. I swear on my father’s life. On mother’s. On my sis—”

He crushes his mouth to mine and I grab the front of his shirt, pulling myself even closer. The next moment, he pulls away. He exits the confession box and then comes around to open my side. The next moment, he yanks me out, throwing me over his shoulder. I don’t make a sound, I just let him carry me out of the church all the way to his SUV. He yanks the door open and tosses me into the back along with the gun.

He unbuttons my jeans, yanks them off, and pushes my panties to the side. The next moment, he thrusts inside me. I cry out, clinging to his back.

“You left,” he says, breathing hard against my neck. “You’re my wife and you fucking left. How could you do that, Gaia?”

I gasp at hearing him call me by my real name for the first time. “I’m…I’m sorry,” I cry into his shoulder. “I’m so sorry. I was scared. It was a mistake. I love you, Carmine. I love you so much.”

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