Page 90 of Beyond Expectations

“Yes. At first, I just put it down to him being outgoing and a bit of a party animal. But once we began spending most days and nights together, I realized he was justifying getting drunk on almost any occasion.”

I still didn’t understand what she saw in him. She could do some much better.

“I know you don’t like him, but you don’t see the times when things are good.”

Her smile didn’t touch her eyes and I think she was saying it more for herself than me.

“I mentioned maybe both of us doing a detox or cleanse or something to help with his drinking subtly, and things were starting to look up. Or so I thought. Then, when Max told everyone his diagnosis, Julian started up again. When he died, it became apocalyptic. In the past few days, it’s been easier to count the hours he’s sober than the ones he’s drunk.”

“Do you love him?”

“Yes. We told each other a few weeks back. But now I’m wondering if I’m his girlfriend or his shrink or just the woman he fucks and helps sober him up. Plus, now he’s not working anymore, I don’t know what will happen.”

“What do you mean he’s not working anymore? Did he quit?”

“No. I’m guessing Rhett didn’t tell you?”

“No, what happened?”

“Apparently, they got into a fight at the office. Julian hasn’t said this, but I’m sure he was drunk. Anyway, now that Rhett’s in charge, and with the loss of their father, he couldn’t deal with him there anymore, so he kicked him out. He took his passes and everything. Even told security not to let him back in.”

My hand went straight to my mouth.

Was that why he seemed so tense and stressed when he came over to see me?

“How is Julian dealing with that?”

“He says he doesn’t care, especially with the large amount of money his dad had left him. He says now he can retire and enjoy life.”

She turned her back and busied herself with loading up the dishwasher. I could hear in her voice she was holding back tears.

“So where does that leave things with you two now?”

“I don’t know. I love him. And I know he has a strange way of showing it, but I know he loves me, too. So, the only thing I can do is let the dust settle, let him grieve, and then tell him he needs to get help.”

“And if he doesn’t?”

I felt awful asking it, but I had to know.

“If he doesn’t, then I’ll walk away. I can’t stand by and watch him self-destruct. Under all the arrogance and cockiness, he is a great guy. I wish he’d let that side out more. It’s like he’s fighting some battle, rebelling against something. I just don’t know what it is.”

“Could it be something that happened when he was younger?”

“I’m not sure. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but he shrugs it off and usually then diverts the conversation by initiating sex.”

I’m not a shrink, but I am good at reading people. Something’s going on, something he isn’t dealing with, and this is his way of masking it. Was it a painful memory? Was it abuse? Jealousy? I’m not sure, but I know he’s got to sort his shit out, or he’ll lose Ruby for good.

One thing I learned from her relationship with Roman is that once he stopped making an effort to be in the relationship with her, she stopped trying, too.

And I understood that.

Chapter 25

Serena

I’d left Ruby’s just after eleven. Grabbing a cab to my place, I quickly showered, changed, and made my way to work. By the time I’d gotten a feel for what still needed to get done for the day, it was lunch. I worked through and stayed till eight in the evening.

On Thursday and Friday, I came in early and focused on work. Each night, being the last one to leave. I’d gone to call Rhett hundreds of times, but each time, I couldn’t go through with it. So, I just buried myself in work to numb the pain. Endlessly, my mind kept replaying all the ways in which things could have gone differently.

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