Page 91 of Beyond Expectations

Was I too rash with my assumptions? Especially given the utter grief I could only imagine Rhett must be feeling. Should I have given him the chance to fully process everything that was going on in his life, the loss, the company takeover, his feelings—all of it, before breaking up with him? Should there have been a couple of days or weeks for both of us to cool down before leading down this road?

Work has always been my passion—at times, my escape from my life—my feelings and emotions. But now, everything felt boring, empty, and dull. Now that I no longer had him, I realized how much happiness, hope, and excitement he brought every day, whether by phone calls, messages, surprise visits to my office, or stunning dates we would go on.

For the first time ever, I really opened myself up. I allowed there to be a chance to love and be loved unconditionally in return. Yet it wasn’t enough. I felt I wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough to keep my mother around. I wasn’t the right fit for Rhett. Everything was just too much.

***

I decided to spend the weekend at Dad’s, mainly because the monotony of work and my continuously fraying emotions were becoming too overwhelming. I couldn’t stand another night sitting alone in my apartment, crying, wallowing, and just feeling super lonely.

I’d spent the last couple of hours catching him up on everything that had happened. He listened, passed me tissues when I cried, hugged me when I needed one, and was just there, just like he always was.

“I know you’re my baby girl, and I will always do and say everything I can to make you happy. But I must admit, I agree with Ruby on this one.” He ignored the pouty glare I shot him. “You should’ve told him how you feel already. Life’s too precious. Look at what happened to his father, no one was expecting it. No one thought his life would be taken so suddenly from him. But it was.”

I knew he was right but it still didn’t make things any easier now. Still didn’t change what had happened and still couldn’t change the past.

“And about that Verity girl, most of what she said was just sad and showed the terrible job her parents did in raising her. But again, as you said, she was right on one thing. You two do come from different worlds. The thing is, sweetie, that isn’t a bad thing.”

Dad shifted in his seat, and his arms encased me in a big bear hug before he lifted my head and looked straight into my eyes. The feel of his callused hands as they gently stroked my cheek sparked a sense of déjà vu from when I was a little girl.

“In life, we come across all different kinds of people. But it’s what we learn from then, how we as individuals evolve, that’s what defines who we are.”

“I know you’re right.”

“And in a way, you should feel sorry for her. She’s been desperate to marry into that family, going to extra lengths to do so. And she never will be. I know you said Rhett threatened her with what she values most, her appearance to society, but for her sake, let’s hope she never comes across Olivia. When you tell her, and should the two ever meet, then she’ll know what it means when somebody upsets you.”

Affection for my sister ran through me and I knew Dad was right. Despite our differences, my sister was fiercely protective of me. Dad yawned loudly before rising off the couch.

“You planning on staying up?” he asked.

“No, I’m gonna head to bed as well.”

I helped him switch everything off before saying goodnight. I knew I should have a shower, but my body felt too tired to stand up, let alone wash my hair. That could wait until tomorrow.

As I lay in my old bedroom, tossing and turning in bed, I ran through my conversation with Dad, which in turn made me think of someone I hadn’t let into my mind in a very long time.

My mother.

Growing up, having my mother abandon us, well, it took its toll. I didn’t realize its effect on me until I was older and more mature. Dad had to play the role of both parents, and he worked his ass off to give us the best education and as many opportunities in life, whether it was taking my brother to football practice or my sister and me to dance recitals, concerts, or any club or camp. Yet, he still always made the time and effort to listen, make us laugh, or be a shoulder to cry on, just like he did tonight.

I often wondered how our lives would have turned out had my mother stuck around. But there were never feelings of longing or loss.

What kind of woman left her husband and three children for another man and a carefree life?

As much as my mother wanted to portray to everyone that she was happy being a wife and a mother, it wasn’t enough for her, as two weeks before my fifth birthday, we came home to find all her stuff gone and a letter on the kitchen counter.

I’m sorry, I can’t do this anymore. I want you to know I love you all, but it’s time for me to be happy. I have paid my dues, and it’s time I focus on myself. Goodbye.

Mom

X

It wasn’t as if she was a great, caring mother or wife in the first place. Especially as we later found out she’d left with the guy she was having an affair with to start a new life. And as much as my dad wouldn’t admit it then, I know he knew about all the affairs she used to have and just put up a happy front for us.

My sister took it the worst, as she was thirteen at the time and had always tried to be mommy’s little girl. My brother and I, who were only eight and nine years old, were always closer to Dad.

That’s why I admired him so much. His wife left him for another man, but he never let that stop him from living his life. I knew we were all better off without her. It made me more grateful for the family I had but those feelings put a bittersweet taste in my mouth.

I couldn’t imagine losing my dad. He meant the world to me. I knew that despite the pressure and expectations Rhett’s father had on him, I knew they loved one another. Once again, my heart broke for him. Was there any going back for us?

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