Page 103 of Exposed

Micah: I’m not drugging my baby so he’ll sleep, asshole.

Brax: Whoa, Dick McJudgerson. It’s Benadryl, not whiskey. Wait ‘til you’re a walking zombie and have to make that game-time decision. You won’t be such an ass. Plus, you think teething is bad? We’re in the middle of potty training Baylee.

Micah: That’s gotta be rough. Chase was past that when I entered the picture. The only bodily functions I’m dealing with are what’s in diapers. That’s bad enough.

Brax: We’re going with the Winnie the Pooh method. It’s fucking stressful with the new sofa.

Me: I’m sorry to interrupt your Mr. Mom convention, but I need a favor.

Brax: Man, if I’m not bribing my daughter with stickers to pee in a potty chair that sits in the middle of my damn family room, I’m living and breathing your case. What more do you want from me?

Micah: Yoga drained me. I have nothing left for you, old man.

Me: It’s not about the case. This is about Goldie.

Brax: Oh, why didn’t you say so? This is my specialty. I’m the shit when it comes to relationship advice.

Micah: At least King didn’t lie to Goldie about who he was for eternity. He fessed up about his true identity after a couple days. I’m the only one who was honest from the get go. If you’re going to take advice from anyone, it should be me.

Me: Fuck you both. I do not need relationship advice.

Micah: Are you sure about that? I’ve known you for three years, and you’ve yet to dip a toe into the relationship arena.

Brax: It’s time to do more than dip your toe. Charge into that arena like a true warrior.

Micah: You’re running out of time. You’ve got to make your mark. Your legacy is at stake.

Brax: Shit or get off the pot, King, like a true Roman legend.

Micah: Well said, brother.

Me: If you two could shut up for two seconds about the Roman Empire, I can explain. I need a babysitter. Or more like a Goldie sitter.

Brax: (smack-my-face emoji)

Micah: (wide-eyed emoji)

Brax: The number one rule of the arena: do not let your woman hear you talk about her that way.

Micah: You will lose your balls in one go. Your legacy will be no more. And at your age, you do not have time to fuck around. If Goldie is the one, you need to fast-track that shit.

Me: I need someone to stay with her while I pick up the money. Dex will know where I am, and that she’s not with me. It’ll be the perfect opportunity for him to send someone to fuck with her.

Brax: We’re coordinating your back-up. Goldie can’t exactly be with us. We might be skilled, but we can’t do both.

Micah: I’ve got an idea. Hang on…

Today 6:47 PM

Micah Emmet added Rocco Monroe to the conversation.

Micah: Roc, you there?

Brax: He’s not going to answer you.

Me: Didn’t he take a test this morning?

Brax: What the hell are you talking about? What test?

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