Page 37 of Atonement

“Do you think this place has an ice machine? You need something for this shoulder.”

“I’ll be okay. Don’t go.”

I closed my eyes as I breathed in the scent of her hair. She hadn’t used her normal shampoo for a week, but she still smelled like her.

“Never again,” I whispered, pulling her closer even though the pressure lit up bruises for both of us. “I promise.”

Maddie

He held me on the bed, body nearly entirely on top of mine, arms wrapped around me and his face pressed into my hair. It was too hot in the room, worked up as we were from the sex, but I couldn’t disentangle myself from him if I wanted to. Our sweat and his cum on my stomach stuck us together; every time one of us shifted our skin stretched before sliding back into place. He wiggled one of his knees between my legs and pressed his thigh against my core.

It felt good to laugh earlier, when he traced his fingers along my stomach, but the feeling was fading now. There was a limit to how far the endorphins from amazing sex could carry me. Meyer was doing his best to distract me, but it wasn’t going to work.

He breathed deeply, air stirring my hair and pulling me fully back to the present. “We could—”

“Don’t say it,” I muttered. “We can’t stay here. We have to keep moving.”We have to go back. I wasn’t leaving the state without my mom. I’d get back there one way or another, with or without him.

“Not to Conrad’s house.” His voice was muffled against the pillow; his breath hot on my scalp.

Goddammit, when did we start reading each other’s minds like this? I couldn’t sneak out if he knew what I was planning. Certainly not while we were wrapped up like this. Panic and anxiety were trying to seep back into my bones, but I couldn’t let myself fall apart. Meyer’s help would be crucial if I wanted to succeed, and to get him to agree to help me, I had to appeal to his emotional side. The one I’d finally managed to uncover. If he loved me, he loved her too. He couldn’t let her suffer under his father, not if he really thought about it.

“She’s my mother, Meyer. She’syourmother.”

He sighed and dipped his head, kissing my shoulder, before rolling to his side. He left one hand on my stomach. “She made a sacrifice for your freedom. I didn’t ask her to do that, by the way. No one did. She showed up on her own. I didn’t even know she was there until she offered herself up.”

My stomach clenched at the thought of my mother back in the hands of that monster, this time with no way out ever. I couldn’t fathom the strength it must have taken to give herself up like that. How scared she must be now. Did she regret her sacrifice, or was she still convinced I was worth it? And what was my father doing, without her or me around?

“Where is my dad?”

“Just across the border in Canada. I spoke with him while we drove. He’s waiting for us. I think he plans to make sure you’re safe and then sneak down there to try and get your mom back. I called a private security firm to keep an eye on him, keep him from doing anything stupid.”

I swallowed back my protest of that. It was harsh to keep my parents apart, but at least he was safe. Meyer tore down all his walls for me. I had no doubt my dad would do the same, and probably get himself killed in the process, just to see my mom again. He didn’t know how dangerous Conrad was, not really. Mom and I could join him up there once I had her back. Meyer, too, if he’d come.

But what would I do if he wouldn’t? I was going to need reinforcements.

“Shawn will help us.”

Meyer blinked rapidly, then rubbed his forehead.

“No, he won’t.”

“Why would you say that? He’s been a champion this whole—”

“Shawn’s dead, Maddie.”

I pushed onto my elbow, leaning over him.

“What did you just say?”

“I came to talk to Conrad the first fucking day he took you. He wanted to come inside with me, but I convinced him I should go alone. Someone choked him out then cut his wrists while he waited for me in his car.”

“Jesus.” I snuggled closer to him, wrapping one arm around his chest. “What did you do—”

“With my best friend’s body?” He snorted. “Cleaned him and left him in a ditch.” His voice turned defensive. “It was the best I could do without bringing the police to the door or implicating myself. I left him somewhere he’d be found quickly, so his family will get to bury him.”

I rubbed my hand across his skin soothingly. “You did the best you could.” I gave him shit for leaving me so long but he’d tried, right from the start, then had to deal with the death of his best friend. I was lucky he didn’t make another attempt on his own life. I sat up again, swinging my legs over the side of the bed and walking toward the bathroom. “Let’s get clean.”

“Your ass looks fine as hell.”

---