Page 68 of Reckoning

Madeline

I felt drunk, more intoxicated than I’d ever been at college frat parties or weekend-long birthday celebrations, despite rationing my alcohol intake. Meyer had been slowly cracking open before me for days, but tonight, I’d finally hooked my fingers on the sharp edges of the framework he’d erected to hold himself up. I stared at my hands, half expecting to see blood where I’d cut myself, but there was nothing.

Was I willing to keep prying, knowing that doing so could destroy me more thoroughly than anything Conrad had planned for me?

I stumbled and fell into a wall, breathing heavily. This was too much for me to think about right now. I needed time alone, but Anita hooked her arm around my waist and pulled me upright.

“Did you decide to mainline the alcohol tonight?” she asked but didn’t wait for a reply. She dragged me across the sparsely populated dance floor and through the dining area littered with chairs and teeming with staff setting about the arduous cleanup. Most of the guests were gathering coats, calling valets, or throwing back last drinks at the bars. They’d head home in cars driven by other people to fall into bed drunk, but together. I guessed I’d fall into Meyer’s bed myself. Was there a point in holding him off anymore? Was it worth it to try to find some happiness with him in this twisted game we were playing when I knew he wasn’t really in charge?

One woman in a midnight blue gown ran barefoot through the room, pulled a matching clutch from beneath one of the tables, and then sprinted back to her scowling husband. I heard him whispering to her harshly as he led her outside by her elbow.

“God, can you imagine? My husband is going to have to accept that I’m a social alcoholic if we have any chance of being happy together. I don’t need to be lectured every time I lose my phone at one of these events.”

“Where are we going?” I asked, trying to avoid talk about the future. Husbands. Happiness.

“Surprise. I had to wait until most everyone else had taken off.” We walked out some side door, and I braced myself against the cold. Why didn’t I keep Meyer’s jacket? I was beyond chastising myself for letting him kiss me again. And I was done fighting him off. If he came for me, turned on that alpha male charm, and told me to fuck him in the back seat of his car, I would. It was too painful to fight. Which was why it was suddenly so much more important to get out of this cage and be distracted for a few more minutes.

Anita steered me through cars, ducking us down as valets ran back to retrieve new vehicles as quickly as they could. We could hear the chatter of the guests as they waited for their cars—Audis, Porsches, and Maseratis by the dozens. I trailed my fingers along paint jobs that cost more than my house. Anita slapped my hand down.

“You’ll set off an alarm and get us caught.”

“But what are we doing?” It was even darker out here than it had been on the porch with the lights out. I squinted, trying to see better, but it made no difference.

“You’ll see.” We scrambled down the road until it met the water of the reservoir where the air felt close to freezing. The dirt that led away to the dock was hard from the cold, but my heels still caught along the rocks in the ground. Anita was faster on flats. When had she changed her shoes? I was aware that we couldn’t hear the other party guests anymore, and it was deathly quiet by comparison. The water lapped softly against the poles of the metal dock. We stopped at the edge, and when I looked over my shoulder, I couldn’t even see the house. We were out in the open but totally alone.

“I always thought drowning would be an excellent way to die,” she said, looking at the moon. Like her brother, she didn’t seem cold at all. “But then I watched a few too many TV shows. Have you seen how bloated the bodies always are? Not pretty at all. Though I suppose that if they didn’t find your body, everyone would just remember what you looked like before you disappeared. That’s why it’s important to always look your best.”

“What’s the point, Anita? I’m freezing.” The cold had chased away the mild intoxication that had plagued me minutes before. Without the shelter of houses or trees, or Meyer, the cold wind bit through the insubstantial fabric of my dress to chill my entire body.

“The point is, Madeline, that it’s a perfect way for you to die.”

I was shaking, rubbing my arms, but Anita was totally still as I turned to face her. “What?” Did I hear that right?

“You’re going to die, Madeline. Drown. Or at least come close. I guess you might be able to swim back to shore before you freeze.” She pointed at the waterline, far below the dock. “The water’s so low right now, there’s no way you’re hauling yourself back up. And I’m going to hit you pretty hard before you go in, anyway.”

She was so blunt and straightforward that I couldn’t take her seriously.

“Are you high? You sound like a Bond villain.”

She shrugged, facing out into the lake again. “I kind of feel like one. I’ve been wondering what it would be like to actually kill someone, and you present a perfect opportunity. It’ll perform the additional purpose of pissing off Meyer and Daddy, even if they never know it was me. I know that Daddy has been hoping that Meyer will fuck up so badly that he’ll get to take you for himself just to prove a point, but he’s being particularly patient. He never would have put up with this kind of insolence when Meyer was younger.” She laughed, and it echoed. “I remember when Meyer tried to get out after he graduated. Daddy beat him with that baseball bat he loved so much until his arm broke in two. He showed me how Meyer’s elbow touched his wrist while we waited for the doctor.”

I was sick to my stomach, very aware that everything Anita was saying was true. No wonder the scarring on Meyer’s arm was so bad. The bone must have punctured the skin. And Anita was the child that Conrad always wanted—cold and psychotic, but unfortunately female.

He’d try to tell me; they both did. I didn’t listen.

“You’re insane.”

“I’m my father’s daughter.” Her teeth glinting in the moonlight looked like fangs. She took a step toward me, closing most of the distance in one stride. “And I’m sick of waiting around to prove myself. You’re the perfect opportunity for me to make a statement. You don’t matter at all. No one misses you now, and they won’t when you’re gone.”

She swung at me, but I was expecting it. I jumped back, but my heel caught between the metal slats, sending me tumbling to the dock. My elbow rang as it hit the funny bone. I scrambled to kick off my shoes, but Anita landed a kick to my ribs that forced the breath from my lungs.

“Stop,” I wheezed breathlessly, remembering how ineffectual that word was against the other members of her family. She fell on me and grabbed my head between her hands. Her fingers were as cold as the air as she slammed my head into the dock. She didn’t have much room to work with, and though I felt pain, it didn’t do the damage she had hoped. I swung out with my own arms and caught her tiny ribs, but she just laughed.

“This is fun,” she said, cackling maniacally. “I’d love to have some battle scars. Hit me a little harder.”

She sat back, giving me room to move, and I attempted to roll her onto her back. She drove her knee into my chest.

“Not good enough, Madeline.” This time, when she swung, it landed right between my eyes with enough force to jar me on its own. My head jammed back against the dock again, harder this time, and my vision swam as pain radiated down every inch of my spine.

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