Page 90 of Reckoning

“You’re loving this, aren’t you?”

She jerked her head up and looked between Shawn and me with wide eyes. “What? No, Meyer, I don’t want to see you fail. I know how hard you’ve worked to get to where you—”

“But it wouldn’t be the end of the world if we went under, would it? One less villain for you to fight.” I stood so quickly the chair flew out behind me and toppled to the ground. Shawn and Maddie both remained seated, though Shawn put his hands on the table as if to push himself up at a moment’s notice. Maddie twisted in her chair to face me, her hands folded carefully in her lap.

“Meyer, I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to.” I stomped to the bedroom and opened Shawn’s closet. I needed a change of clothes if I was going to get downtown and fix this. Fuck whatever Maddie thought; I had a lifestyle to protect. I knew she hated what we did, but did she need to be so cavalier about it? About me losing the job I’d worked for my entire life? About an event that would blacklist me forever?

I was done letting people who were supposed to care about me try to destroy my life.

The door closed softly as I jerked a pale blue polo over my head, but the person who spoke wasn’t who I expected.

“You didn’t need to go off on her like that.”

“Don’t fucking tell me how to live my life, Shawn. I’ve had enough of it over the past three decades.” I sat on the bed to pull on a pair of socks. “Did you drive here? We need to get back downtown.”

“And what do you want to do with Maddie?”

Fuck her. Marry her. Let her go. “I don’t really care. She can stay here, I guess. I don’t need her fucking judging me all day while I try to fix this mess.”

Shawn leaned against the doorframe. “She wasn’t judging you yesterday, was she?”

Or this morning. “You saw her. She’s so excited about this that she could barely even look at me.” My heart felt like it was falling out of my chest.

“I don’t think that’s why she was smiling.”

“It doesn’t really matter. We come from different ways of life. I can play house as much as I want, but it doesn’t change our natures.”

“Who says our natures are so different?” I snapped my head to see her standing just a step behind Shawn. Her eyes glistened even in the dark. “I’m not judging you, Meyer. I don’t understand why you’re lashing out at me like this.”

I brushed past them both to the living room and grabbed my coat and keys, forgetting for a second that two of the fingers on my right hand couldn’t bend. Maddie was by my side as I sucked in a breath, but I shook off her hand and started for the door. “Let’s go, Shawn. We’ve got a shitstorm to clean up.”

“Meyer, please,” Maddie begged at the same time Shawn replied, “Maybe we need to talk a little longer about—”

“I don’t need to talk!” I threw my keys on the floor, sending them sliding across the hard floor to stop at Shawn’s feet. “I need to go save the one thing I’ve worked hardest for throughout my entire life. I’m not letting this go to ashes over a stupid mistake.” I glared at them both in turn. Let them decide who they thought I was talking about. “Give me the fucking keys.”

The three of us stared at each other for too long. No one seemed capable of movement. Finally, Shawn crouched and picked up the keys, stepping forward and extending his arm toward me.

“Let me get my shoes on,” Maddie croaked, “and I’ll just be—”

“Stay here,” I barked. “We don’t need another interruption.”

“You can’t leave me alone!” Her face went white as her eyes grew wide. “What if Conrad—”

“What if Conrad what, Maddie?” I stared at her over my shoulder, one hand on the doorknob. “There’s nothing either of us can do to stop him if he tries, and we both know that. So what’s the use in trying?” As much as I didn’t want to admit it, Joshua had been right about that. It was only a matter of time. He’d let us run off too easily yesterday, which meant he had something else planned. And I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what it was.

“Is that what this is? You’re giving up?” She folded her arms, protecting herself as she stepped across the foyer to me. “After …” She glanced at Shawn, then back at me. “After what I said?”

My heart had completely collapsed. I’d been so fucking foolish to ever think I could find happiness for more than a few hours, a few minutes, at a time. Even if what she’d said was true, and I couldn’t believe it was, it didn’t matter. Conrad had his own plans; I’d known that all along even as I pretended not to. It was better to cauterize this wound now before my whole body became infected.

“It doesn’t matter, Madeline. Stick around or don’t; I’m sure one of us will find you.” Ignoring the tears on her face, I turned to my best friend and jerked my head toward the door. “Let’s go.” Without waiting for him, I turned the handle and stepped outside.

It was another minute before his footsteps sounded in the hallway behind me. I held up my hand as he approached at my back, cutting off any commentary he might have felt compelled to add. “This isn’t any of your business, Shawn.”

“It became my business the moment I saw your father beat the shit out of you in our office building. Are you seriously going to leave her there?”

“As I said, let it go.” I wasn’t going to discuss this with him. “If we don’t get to the office, he’ll come looking for us.” For her. Stepping into the elevator, I glared at him as I pushed the button for the garage. “Are you coming with me, or do I need to call a car?” I held up my injured hand, reminding him I couldn’t drive a manual transmission. He sighed and stepped in next to me without another word.

My heart hammered in my chest as we rode silently. I waited for him to speak or else knock me out and drag me back upstairs. But we made it to the garage without another word, and I handed him my keys.

“Did you lock the door behind you?”

“Of course,” he muttered. “Just because you’re being an idiot doesn’t mean I’ll let her suffer for it.”

I nodded once as he unlocked the car and stepped inside. Before I did the same, I took one last breath, the final inhalation in a place where she and I shared the same air.

We drove away.

---