I twisted her face toward me, kissing her deeply to preempt the questions that confession spawned in her mind. She refused my advances, placing her hands on my cheeks and holding me back.
“Tell me why.”
“How can you not see it?” I shouldn’t be talking to her. I was giving too much away, and I wasn’t even drunk.
She was silent for a moment as her eyes searched mine. “You blinded me.”
I pressed my lips against her forehead. She was so warm. “Be good today. Don’t let Anita in.” I left before she could coax anything more out of me.
The day was packed to the brim, but I was next to useless. Shawn kicked me under the table during meetings, covered for me when possible, but ultimately, everyone could tell I was off my game. I told Jessica to cancel the last meetings of the day, and then I locked myself in my office. Of course, that didn’t stop Shawn.
“What’s up with you today?” He sat carefully in the chair in front of my desk, trying to hide his curious gaze with a relaxed posture. Still, he was too tense, legs crossed unnaturally in his attempt to appear casual.
“Nothing,” I said, swallowing as I remembered the taste of the pills as I shoveled them in my mouth like candy. “I’ve just had a weird few days.”
“Does it have anything to do with your dad taking off early?”
I raised my head too quickly. “Conrad left?”
“No explanation. Just walked out a few minutes ago. Didn’t say when he’d be back.”
My frown hurt my face. Conrad didn’t leave work early. He was too invested in the company to just walk out in the middle of the day. “Something must be wrong.” I grabbed my phone, but I had no texts or missed calls. Whatever it was, he didn’t feel like sharing it with me. Not that that was all that unusual.
“Did you two get into it recently?”
I snorted. We didn’t have an interaction that ended on a friendly note. Well, except for the night he gave me Madeline.
“Maybe he ran off to get laid.”
After Eva took off, the women came and went like seasons. I supposed that Conrad thought I was old enough to more or less take care of myself by the time I lost the only mother I’d ever known, so he didn’t bother hanging onto anyone else if someone new caught his eye. Still, there would occasionally be a woman who lasted more than a few weeks, sometimes even months at a time, to help me with my homework or meet me after school, but that was rare. Most of them couldn’t be bothered with me, choosing to stay in Conrad’s room even when he wasn’t around. At night, wandering the halls when I couldn’t sleep, I’d sometimes hear enough to know my father liked things rough. Maybe rougher than most normal people. It explained why the girls didn’t have the energy to leave the bedroom, at least.
My phone buzzed as Shawn started to reply. He closed his mouth, and I snatched up my phone, seeing a text not from my father but from Joshua.
Security issue at the main house. I’ve been asked to address it.
I started to tap out my response—he was not to leave Madeline alone under any circumstances—but paused midsentence as I realized it was already too late. He’d already caved to whatever my father had asked him to do.
Madeline was by herself at my house.
I suddenly knew where Conrad had gone.