Page 31 of Reckoning

I walked up to him slowly, pursing my lips. “You told me you canceled everything.”

His eyes rolled back in his head. “Obviously, I missed one.”

I thought about that. It was possible. There was a lot of stuff up for auction last night. But that didn’t explain all the equipment that came along with it. Saddle, reins, blankets, eye masks, bales of hay, and bags of food …

“Most people who bid on horses at auctions already have everything they need to care for one. Where did all this equipment come from?” He would have had to tell someone we would need it.

He rubbed his upper lip. There was a shadow over it, the lightest facial hair I’d ever seen. It was barely darker than his hair. “I don’t know, Madeline, it must have been part of the deal.” He turned to walk away, but I grabbed his elbow. He stopped, turning to look at my hand with agonizing slowness. His eyes traced up my arm, landing on my face. I swallowed, suddenly feeling I was making a mistake. I spoke anyway.

“I don’t believe you.” It came out as a whisper.

He turned around, shaking off my hand, but then moved closer until we were toe to toe and walked me back against the wall. His hands were on either side of my head, trapping me, and I felt another memory tug. My fingers flew to the pulse on my neck. His eyes lingered there.

“What are you saying, Mads?”

He slid one hand down my shoulder, then up my arm until he could slip his fingers underneath mine to touch my neck. His skin was still so cool, even in the heat of the barn. I could feel my heart stuttering in my chest. He looked at me with unfettered longing, something covetous beneath the angry veneer that had coated him a moment ago. He pulled my hand to his mouth and bit my fingers. I gasped.

“You think I did something … nice for you?”

Without warning, he bit down harder, and I yanked my fingers back.

“You cut me.” I couldn’t believe it. There was actually blood welling on my knuckles.

He took my head in my hands, not in any grand romantic gesture but just forcing me to look at him. My headache, previously forgotten in the excitement, resurged with a vengeance. Behind us, the horse nickered softly.

“I’m not nice, Mads. I’m truly sorry if I gave you that impression because you shouldn’t expect anything from me.”

It was a struggle to swallow, but I forced out the words. “You were last night. You were kind to me. I know it.”

Hair fell into his face as he shook his head. “You had an alcohol-fueled dream that your brain cooked up to try to comfort you.”

“You let me sleep in the bed.”

He released me, not simply letting go but pushing my head away from him. I bumped the wall behind me.

“You climbed in there, and I couldn’t be bothered getting you out. Next time, I’ll just shove you to the floor to avoid having this asinine discussion.” He turned on his heel and started walking, his back straighter than normal as if he were trying to make a point with his posture.

“Don’t walk away from me!” My voice came out louder than intended. He stopped for a moment, then resumed walking at a brisker pace.

That meant something. I knew it. If he were really angry, he would have come back here to yell at me for giving him an order. Instead, he was running away. I’d uncovered the fact that he had done something kind for me, a truly selfless gesture, and he couldn’t convince me otherwise.

“Will you just stop for a second?”

He paused at the entrance, the light filtering in through dust and pollen to bathe him in an ethereal glow. He was so handsome; I caught my breath for a second.

This was insane. The very definition of it. Open the dictionary, and you’d find a picture of me, staring at this man who was doing everything he could to cause me pain and hoping he would pay more attention to me.

I had to get him to say this. To admit he was willing to do something for the sole purpose of pleasing me.

If I could break past that barrier and make him confess, maybe things could be better.

I walked toward him, resolute, and he watched me with mild interest. When I got closer, though, I saw how his eyes actively scanned my face and body language, trying to predict me. He almost looked apprehensive as if he thought I was going to strike him. As if there was anything I could do that would hurt him.

Somewhere outside, a car door slammed.

His hands came up to cup my cheeks, and he brought his face toward mine. Again, I turned at the last second, but we were so close it wouldn’t take more than the slightest movement from either of us to bring our lips together. I breathed deeply, inhaling the scent of dirt and hay and sunlight and him, walking me back until I hit the wall of the barn once more. One of his knees slipped between my legs to rub against my core, and my fingers slipped into his hair.

“What would you say if I did drag you into bed with me, Mads?” I twisted to avoid his lips, but they found me anyway, placing kisses on my cheek, the corner of my lips, and the side of my neck. “What would it mean if I said I wanted you like I’ve never wanted anything in my life?”

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