Page 54 of Take My Hand

He straightens up as I add, “Not that I’m complaining at all. Trust me, no complaints from me the other day. Well, except you rushing out afterward.” He cringes, but I keep going. “But why did you feel the need to preface that with me beforehand? You could’ve just taken control over the situation without having to preface it. I would’ve fallen into your lead.”

Placing his elbows on the table, he leans forward and enters my space as much as he can with the table between us. His voice is low as he answers me, gaze intent.

“It’s no secret that I’ve struggled since the incident with feeling out of control and with anxiety. Anyone who is around can see it. I’m sure you did before you really even knew me.”

I nod. There were nights where I would be shooting shows and I would see him shut down through my lens. It’s like his brain checked out and his body moved on instinct. Or other times where it was too much for him to block out and his fingers moved across the strings with a shakiness he couldn’t help. And he would move across the stage not in showmanship, but at a frenetic pace as if he were a caged animal and needed an out.

“There is so much in my life that I can’t control. I barely have a say over my career because it’s up to four people, not just me. That day two years ago, my entire family could’ve been taken from me and there would’ve been nothing I could do to stop it. My own life could’ve been gone that day. Or yesterday or today. I can’t control that. None of us can.

“When I step outside, I don’t get a say in who might approach me or take a picture of me. When I’m making music, I don’t get the final say in the song as a whole because it’s not only up to the guys but also our label. I don’t get to decide my schedule because it’s done for me. There is barely anything in my life that I actually have control over.

“But between us?” He waves a finger back and forth between me and him. “I can decide how fast, how slow. How hard, how soft. I can take myself to the edge over and over and pull back, all at my own will. I can have my mind and body completely aligned and in control of every moment. When you give me power over your body and your mind, giving me your complete trust and submission, I can pull the same out of you. It’s exhilarating, addicting. I get off on that just as much as I do by the sex itself. The knowledge that you trust me to do so, fuck, it’s intoxicating.”

His words melt every part of my body. A low throbbing sits between my thighs, and I shift in my seat.

He tracks my movement with a smirk.

“I—” I start to say but it comes out scratchy and I clear my throat. “I understand. Thank you for sharing.”

Hayden laughs and leans back. “Such a formal response.”

I shrug, twisting my hands on the table. “I’m not sure what else to say.”

“Does that scare you? Or something you don’t want?”

Shaking my head, I bite my lip. Oh, it’s something I want. Something I want desperately. The idea of allowing him to do whatever he would like with me sends a renewed wave of desire through me.

With Daniel, I always felt like I had to perform and make it good for him. Which often meant me trying to lead our interactions. He liked to sit back and let me do all the work. Nine times out of ten that led to me getting too caught up in my head about things and him being the only one finishing. Not that he cared.

But with Hayden, the energy radiating off of him now and his words, I know it will be nothing like that.

I want it. And I want him.

“How long did you say you have until you need to leave?” I ask.

His gaze darkens, and he immediately flags our waiter down. “We’ll take the check, please.”

19

CARTER

We’re a rushed mess of frenzied kisses and ripping clothes the moment we enter Hayden’s hotel room. The elevator ride up here was the longest minute of my life. I would’ve jumped him in there, but he discreetly nodded to the camera in the corner of the ceiling and kept me casually tucked into his side for the entire ride.

But now that we’re cloaked in privacy, all bets are off.

We stumble blindly toward the bed. His hands dig desperately into my skin, roaming over my body as if they must memorize every inch. I feel his lean muscles flex under my palms. Needing more, I slip my hands under the hem of his tank and explore his back.

He groans into my mouth as his own grip goes from my hips to my ass, squeezing the flesh and pulling my lower body flush against his. Hayden grinds into me, and I can feel every inch of him through his shorts.

My fingers trace the grooves of his back and go higher until I reach something crinkly.

I pull back, breaking the blistering kiss, and we both catch our breath for a moment. “What’s on your back?”

He lets go of me, and I instantly miss the heat of his body. In one quick, effortless motion, he pulls his shirt over his head and turns around for me to see.

There’s a bandage about the size of my hand taped just under his left shoulder blade.

“Did you get hurt?”

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