Page 40 of Take My Hand

My mind races with other ways that I would like to repay the favor, one of which includes her tied up to my bed writhing in pleasure, legs wrapped around my head as I taste her and learn what makes her moan and tick.

Judging by the slight glaze that’s taken over her eyes, I’d say her mind drifted in a similar direction. But the awareness that we’re not alone comes flooding back and I clear my throat.

“I won’t accept your help if you won’t accept mine,” I tell her. “Do we have a deal?” My hand stretches out between us, waiting for her to shake it.

Carter pauses, eyes bouncing back and forth between me and my hand. Just when I think she’s going to leave me hanging, she places her warm hand in mine, giving it a small squeeze.

“Deal,” she says, and the contact of her skin electrifies my body.

“Great,” I say, my voice scratchy with desire that I try to tamp down. “I’ll get you a code for the security system so you can come and go as you need. I’m normally around, but that way, you don’t have to worry about getting in or out if I’m not.”

She nods and stuffs her hands in the back of her pockets as if the handshake burned her skin just as much as it did mine.

“I really appreciate it,” she says, eyes shining with sincerity. “I better get going. I’ll talk to my dad tonight and then catch you up on what he says when I see you next?”

“Sounds great.”

I turn around and open the door, stepping to the side for her to walk through. I catch another hint of the citrus scent that seems to cling to her as she walks past.

“See you at the show next weekend,” she calls over her shoulder to Nikolai, and he waves in response.

Once she drives off, I finally rest my back against the door to catch my breath.

“Fuck, bro. You’re down bad, huh?” Nikolai slaps my shoulder with a knowing glint in his eye.

I shrug off his hand, shaking my head at him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He follows me as we walk back into my kitchen, and I go to the fridge, grabbing the water pitcher and pouring us each a glass.

“So, if I ask you if you’re interested in her, you’re going to deny it?”

I slide the glass across the counter to him, taking a moment to think before I answer. There’s no reason for me to lie to Nikolai. It’s not like there’s anything wrong with me being interested in Carter. And the excuses I keep giving myself are starting to wear thin in my mind.

“No. I won’t deny it.” The water is cool as it slides down my throat and I welcome the refreshment. “Is it that obvious?”

Nikolai scoffs. “Seeing as I barely set foot in here for the past two years and you basically just volunteered part of your house for her to move a studio into, getting her own security code, and you’re going to model for her, I’d say you’re not doing a great job of hiding it if that’s what you’re trying to do.”

The calluses on my hand scrape loudly against my cheek as I rub my face. “It’s just so empty here. And she could actually make use of the space so why not offer it up?”

“I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it. It’s very generous of you to do so. All I’m saying is, I don’t think you’d do that for just anyone.”

And he’s right. I wouldn’t. I value my privacy and my own space. Growing up with two younger brothers, I always had someone barging into my room.

“How long have you been interested in her?” Nikolai asks. “No judgment here.” He holds up his hands to reiterate.

“Not as long as you’re thinking,” I say, knowing in his head he’s assuming that I’ve had a thing for her since we first met and when she was still with her ex.

Sure, I thought she was beautiful and talented, and could do better than him, but I never really allowed myself to actually go there with my feelings until the day Daniel was fired. I saw something in her that day when she thought her life had fallen apart and was too wrapped up in the panic of it all to see that it was actually what she needed most. To be tested and devastated, needing to look inward and find the strength she was capable of having but had pushed down in order to keep the status quo in her life.

The tears she cried that day hurt me in a way that I didn’t expect because I had tried so hard to convince myself that I felt nothing but friendship toward her. And even now as I sit here across from my best friend in the comfort and safety of my own home, there’s still a part of me that wants to deny the attraction and admiration I have for her.

“It really started toward the end of the tour, I guess.”

Nikolai slams a hand down on the marble. “I knew it!”

I roll my eyes at him. “You did not. There’s no way, and let's be honest, there was so much other shit going on that you weren’t paying any sort of attention to me.”

He scrunches his face in mock defense. “You wound me. I pay attention to my friends.”

Feeling like messing with him a little bit but also letting the little nugget that’s been digging at the back of my mind since our last show, I say, “I pay attention, too. Don’t think I didn’t see the way you reacted when Walker mentioned Jane visiting soon.”

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