Page 121 of Take My Hand

He groans, head thrown back on the pillow and eyes screwed shut as I continue to ride him at my own pace.

“Answer me,” I tell him, flipping around the demand on him that he’s given me time and time again as he drives me closer to the edge and words feel so far out of reach.

“Yes,” he grunts, hands squeezing and kneading the flesh on my thighs, my hips, my ass. Not to stop me or push me to go faster or slower, but just because he needs to touch me. Needs to feel me. Needs to hold on to me.

“Yes, what?” I ask, needing him to say it.

“I feel it. The silence. The silence I find with you,” he grits out, face glazed as I roll my hips over him, taking him deeper.

“You’re not just saying that, are you?”

“No, I—Fuck,” he says as I clench my muscles around him. “We don’t lie to each other.”

No, we don’t. But I need more. I need to know that he’s not just saying it to make me feel good about myself and my test for him.

He knows me too well because he senses my hesitation and reaches up to cup my face, fingers curling around my cheek and jaw.

“For the first time since those fireworks exploded tonight and I was thrown into fight-or-flight mode, I feel like I can finally breathe again. Because of you and having you here with me. Showing me what I need and giving it to me.”

His eyes lock onto mine, and the look behind them is what makes me believe it. There’s a calmness behind them that I only see through the haze of my own pleasure as he wrings me dry before finding his own. The sea after a storm, quiet and serene. The peace he endlessly searches for and can find when he’s in control.

But he’s not in control right now. He instead trusts me with it, and that trust has granted him the same feeling.

It triggers my own release, and I cry out, falling forward on his chest as he groans, finding his shortly after and spilling inside of me.

“Fuck, you always make me feel so good,” I say, words muffled against his chest.

I’m fully prepared to stay like this all night, sated and comfortable being in his arms.

But before I can even catch my breath, I’m flipped onto my back and Hayden comes down on top of me.

He smiles wickedly, saying, “You proved your point. Now shut up and do what I tell you.”

41

HAYDEN

After four albums and ten incredible years, it is with heavy hearts that we announce we are stepping back from Whisper Me Nothings. We want to thank everyone for the tremendous love and support you have shown us over the years. Without fans like you, we wouldn’t have been able to have the amazing experiences we did and the career of a lifetime.

Thank you.

Nikolai, Walker, Hayden, and Reid

The post has been up for an hour and my phone battery is drained from all the notifications coming through. It’s a mixed bag of “I saw this coming! Ever since Walker punched Reid, it’s been obvious”, “How can you guys do this to us?! Fuck you guys for ruining my day”, and kind notes wishing us the best and thanking us for the music we’ve made over the years.

Pretty much what we were all expecting.

It’s been a week since the final show in Chicago that was cut short. Surprisingly, the fan reaction to that wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be. I was thinking that people would be pissed we didn’t finish the show, even though we were playing the last song. Festivals are expensive and I never want someone to feel let down by the performance we gave.

But without us even needing to make a statement, fans made the connections between the fireworks and the photos of Nikolai and I freezing onstage. It’s been overwhelming the amount of support I’ve been flooded with in my DMs and comment sections on old posts.

But also so incredibly frustrating to see the amount of people who shared similar experiences they have and knowing that so many people are suffering from the same consequences at the senseless actions of others.

I texted a bit with Nikolai the other day about it, both of us still coming down off the adrenaline and crashing back to reality. We never wanted to be a spokesperson to speak out about our experience and the change that needs to happen. Never wanted it to detract from our music while our wounds were still so fresh.

But something shifted, for me at least, since the show and knowing that my schedule is free and clear now that our announcement post is out there, I want to try to do something about it.

What that looks like? I’m not exactly sure. But I don’t want to sit by and watch more articles pop up day after day and not try to do anything about it.

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