Page 96 of The Edge of Never

I don’t know how much time went by as we sat there. The tension in my body lessened with their touch. Their gentle support. They gave it freely, without words. I didn’t feel like I deserved it, but I took it anyway.

“I saved you, huh?” they whispered.

“Aye.”

There was no doubt in my mind that Kit had heard every word between me and my parents. Shame bubbled up inside me. I’d treated Kit to harsh words when we first met and here I was showing them that side of me still existed. That I wasn’t immune to losing my temper. Then again, who was? Human nature dictated we all had emotions regardless of the narrative society liked to spin about controlling them. About not feeling them. I’d pushed mine down long enough to know that wasn’t healthy or productive. And yet… I still felt ashamed of the way I’d behaved.

“Ye shouldnae have had tae hear that.”

“You think I’m judging you for what you said to your parents?”

I dropped my hands from my face and closed my eyes.

“Aye.”

“I can’t imagine it’s easy when everyone ignores what her death did to you and only focuses on what it did to them. It’s especially difficult when it comes from your own mother.”

“She means well.”

“People can mean well and still do the wrong thing, Thane.”

When it came to my parents, that statement was entirely accurate. But I hadn’t helped matters either. This wasn’t my first outburst, and it wouldn’t be the last. It was why they’d left rather than have it out with me. The walking around on eggshells clearly needed to stop. I had things to apologise for, but they had to understand they were making mistakes too. Was it so wrong to want them to see me as myself rather than as part of a package deal? It wasn’t Thane and Jenna any longer. It was just me. And I needed them to see that.

“They dinnae see me… in their heads, Jenna and I go hand in hand. They cannae separate me from her.”

“I think that’s a mistake a lot of people make when others get into relationships. They no longer see the individual, they just see the couple, but we’re all still individuals regardless of whether we’re with someone else. At least, that’s what I believe.”

I’d never looked at it like that before, but what Kit said resonated with me.

“And there’s nothing wrong with you wanting them to see you. They should. I hope they seriously think about what you said to them.”

I nodded slowly, unsure of whether that would happen. Hope wasn’t something I had much of these days. What I did have was the will to live again. And Kit had helped me with that. Just as they were helping me with this.

I keep owing more and more to you, Kit. I don’t know why you do all of this so freely. Why you care so much, but I appreciate it.

“Kit…”

“Yeah?”

“Can I… I can I hold ye?”

They let go of me without a word, sliding out from behind me and crawling around to my front. I sat back to let them settle in my lap.

Kit smiled as they wrapped their arms around my neck. My hands hesitantly went to their waist. I ran them up their sides. One hand moved higher, across their breastbone until it rested at the base of their neck. The other went to their hair, threading through the strands, enjoying the soft feel of it against my fingertips.

They leaned closer and rested their forehead on mine. I closed my eyes and breathed out.

“Thank ye.”

“For what?”

“For being here, listening tae me, understanding me. No one else bar Callan has ever wanted tae look deeper, but ye dae and I… I… am trying tae say I appreciate ye more than ye know.”

I heard rather than saw Kit swallow. The brush of their lips over mine came a moment later.

“I hope you know I appreciate you too,” they whispered before kissing me.

My heart squeezed almost violently. I wanted to clutch my chest, but my hands were on Kit. Removing them would leave me feeling worse.

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