Page 21 of Sworn to Lead

“Sure.” He drenched a loose pad of gauze and pressed the cool material to her knee, gently washing away the dried blood and debris.

“You’re a nurturer, too. A healer. You must know that, right?”

“What? No.” A deep crease formed between his brows.

“I know you see yourself differently.”

“Differently is an understatement. I’m no healer; the opposite—I take lives. Certainly never have been called nurturing.”

“You care for everyone around you. And yes, you may have to take lives, but in doing so you save others. You ask for nothing in return.” She looked down at her hands before locking them together and returning her gaze. “But what happens if you’re hurt on a mission? Or come home exhausted and could use help getting your groceries and things? Who keeps an eye out for you while you’re off saving the world?” She took an overdue breath and tugged at her bottom lip with her teeth. She hadn’t meant to go off on a tangent, but really, the man didn’t expect enough from others, it seemed.

He stiffened, the red-tinged gauze still clenched in his hand. He tossed it in the bathroom trash, and just when she’d given up hope of getting an answer, he cleared his throat. “You’re the first person to ever ask me that. To be concerned about my safety.” His voice had gone gruff again, making her ache in places she had no business thinking of when it came to Neo. “But the answer is no one. In the Teams, we have each other’s backs, even when we’re back in the US, but I have a feeling the kind of care you’re talking about and the kind I’m used to are two different things.”

“Now you have Jacob and me. It’s not just a one-way street, Neo. You can lean on us. We’ll think of you while you’re gone and be here waiting when you come home.” Sudden emotion jammed into the base of her throat. When he was gone, she’d be worried about him, scared for him, but despite their lack of time together, she’d miss their closeness, too. And that was the part that frightened her the most. That she was coming to depend on Neo for adult companionship, not to mention developing the mother of all crushes on a man she barely knew.

“It’s going to be that much harder to leave, but I can’t deny knowing you and Jacob are here, safe and happy, and will be waiting on me doesn’t feel good.” His voice was choked, and he cleared his throat before asking, “Are you sure it was just the dog out there?”

“I—I had asked Jacob if he’d like to stroll past the school and he was excited. I pulled the directions up on my phone and thought we could walk because it was such a nice day. When we made our way out of the downtown area, I heard footsteps behind me, but when I turned, no one was there. Then I thought I heard my name.” She exhaled. “I guess I just kind of panicked. I felt like someone was watching me and started to get that tightness in my chest like I was going to have a panic attack. I kept hearing rustling, but when I turned around, nothing was there. I started running, but I was distracted by fear and fell. That’s when the dog came out of hiding. You must think I’m nuts.”

“No.” The single word held more ferocity than she’d ever heard. “I think you’re a woman who’s been through a hell of a lot, and is smart to stay alert and wary of her surroundings. I would’ve gotten out of there if I thought someone was following me, too.”

“Even though I feel silly, I’m glad there was no real danger, just a dog looking for help. I hope you’re not upset that I brought him into the apartment, but look at him.” She gestured toward the dog, who was lying down on the bath mat, staring at her reverently.

“I am not upset. After these cuts are cleaned, I’ll fill a warm bath, and we can soap the dog up and see what we’re working with. He might have wounds that need attention.”

“Do you think someone’s looking for him?” She released a long breath.

“I don’t know. It’s possible.”

Neo dressed her wounds with care, cleaned the cuts with antiseptic, and carefully put gauze and medical tape over her knee. He cleaned the more minor scratches on her hands and covered them with ointment.

“No lifting tonight, especially with the condition of your hands. I’ll talk to the commander about getting an additional few days off if they’re not healed by the time I’m supposed to return on duty.”

“They’ll be fine now. I’ve had worse.” The moment she said the words, she wanted to retract them.

He braced his hands on either side of the counter, just beyond her outer thighs, and dropped his head. The muscles of his back flexed and retracted with each heavy breath. He was fighting for calm, but the cold fury radiated off of him in waves, cording the tendons of his neck and arms. His reaction on her behalf, just like the way he’d believed her story, healed another piece of her splintered heart.

“Sorry, that was a stupid thing for me to say.” Her quiet words didn’t seem to reach him. It was like he’d momentarily forgotten she was there. Trying to comfort him, she ran her fingers over his temples, tracing down toward his cheekbones. She liked how his short hair prickled her fingers, and the soft skin of his cheeks was balanced by the chiseled bone beneath. He leaned into her touch but didn’t look up.

“I hate that you went through that. Alone. A fucking child.” He reached up and placed his hand over hers. He straightened, kissing her palm, then her forehead. Warmth spread through her chest at the affectionate gesture. Even though he seemed calmer, his breathing had grown harder. He leveled his gaze, and she took a quick gulp of air. His pupils were blown out, black eclipsing the green, and the heat swirling there made her nipples harden beneath her shirt. He was standing between her thighs, and she placed her hands on his chest.

She inadvertently swept her tongue over her lips, and with a tortured groan, he dropped his gaze. The small gap between them held an electric charge that was nearly magnetic. She felt inexplicably drawn to him. Finally, he gave in to whatever internal battle he was warring with and crashed over her. His mouth met hers, tongue licking the seam of her lips. She immediately parted for him, and he consumed. Devoured. Need slammed into her gut, turning her insides liquid. His hands were in her hair, angling her head so he could take her mouth deeply. His tongue clashed with hers in a dance that had wetness pooling between her thighs. She’d never experienced anything this intense, and it was merely a kiss. His taste was peppermint and coffee, with something else that was all his own. Everything around them faded, except for the knowledge that she didn’t want this to stop.

His hands released her hair and skimmed down her back. Cupping her from behind, he slid her flush against him, so the result of his attraction was hard against her core. He swallowed the moans tumbling from somewhere deep within her. She gripped his shirt, drunk on the taste and feel of him. She was moments from wrapping her legs around his waist when he pulled back, chest heaving.

“Fuck, Brynn.” He rested his forehead against hers, waiting until their breathing settled. “I’ve been telling myself I wasn’t going to touch you, no matter how tempting. I didn’t even last a week. You shatter my willpower to hell, and when I saw you in the hallway bleeding, some of my control snapped.”

“I’m guilty, too. That was unprofessional, and despite how connected I feel to you, Jacob is your brother. I won’t risk my relationship with him to explore the attraction between us.”

“Guilty is the last thing I’m feeling.” He dipped his finger under her chin, gently lifting her face. “I’m not going to play games. Straight up, Brynn, I want that to happen again, but more than that, I want to keep getting to know you, and that is completely separate from the care you give my brother. If things don’t go the way I think they will, I swear I’ll never keep you from Jacob if you want to break it off. You should know, though, I plan on doing everything in my power to keep you in my life, too.”

She could only stare at him, mouth agape. Never had a man been so straightforward with her, but Neo wasn’t the majority. No, he was something special. She tried to tamp down the glow surrounding her heart at his confession, but it was already blinding.

He circled her waist and lifted her off the countertop with ease. “Go relax for a bit. I’ll fill up the tub.”

“I’d like to help you,” she said. Neo hadn’t moved his hands from their place on her hips. She liked them there. Maybe a bit too much.

“You can help by sitting right where you were, giving the dog some moral support during his bath.” He leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose. His sweet gestures continued to surprise her. She’d never known soft and tender growing up, at least not until Nana took her away.

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