Page 55 of Pony Rides Fast

“Very funny.”

“You have been spending a lot of time with him. And don’t tell me, oh, the case, Carly, the case, I have to do the all the things with the hot guy and only the hot guy because the case.”

“I didn’t do all the things…” Piper began to mutter, looking off to the side.

“That’s a total lie. I can tell by the way you shrug your shoulders up like that and look away. So you definitely did doall the things…” Carly paused, eyeing her carefully. “Waaaaaait a second. Did you hook up with him?”

“Carly, we really shouldn’t be discussing FBI business…”

“You did!” Carly cried, throwing a cheese curl at her. “You nasty girl!”

“God damn it,” Piper said with a sigh.

“I want to hear everything! Did he do any freaky biker boy shit?”

Piper’s face scrunched up as she said, “What does that even mean?”

“I don’t know,” Carly said. “I’ve never hooked up with an outlaw bad boy type guy before. I thought maybe they had some crazy tricks up their sleeve. Or down their pants.”

“No, it’s all pretty standard issue,” Piper said, then a sly smile couldn’t help but sneak out. “Well, I mean, really,reallygood standard issue, but…”

“Ha! Does he have tattoos on his dick?”

“No!”

“I don’t know!”

“If you had a dick, would you attack it with a tattoo needle?”

Carly seemed to think that over for a bit before saying, “Probably not. Probably not. I’d just use it to pee out a lot of campfires.”

“What?”

“I’ve always wanted to do that,” she said with a shrug.

Piper was giggling now, the girlish way that Carly always seemed to bring out in her. As soon as they were together for longer than ten minutes, it was like she was eleven years old again.

“So stupid,” she said through her giggles. “Go pee out a campfire with your tattooed dick.”

“Totally would. Totally would. And write my name in the snow.”

“You technically could try that second one right now.”

“Oh, that’s some real, like, belly dancer type moves right there,” Carly said, hopping up off of the couch to do a deep squat and awkward pelvic gyration. “C… A… God, this is such a core muscle workout.”

“You’re such a jackass.”

“So wait,” Carly said, collapsing back onto the couch. “You find out the MC is not with the cartel, so there’s no reason to be there, and you’ve gone and done the dirty wiggly with…”

“The dirty wiggly?”

“Don’t interrupt. You’ve done the horizontal be-bop with Mr. Hot Guy No Tattoo On His Dick… you’ve got to tell your boss.”

Piper raised an eyebrow.

“Not about fucking the hot guy, about how you need to end this undercover thing at the MC.”

“It’s not quite that simple.”

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