Page 19 of Owning the Prez’s Ol' Lady

Snyder was sitting in his room staring out his window at a storm brewing in the sky. He’d been mopey since Shasta left, but he seemed overly depressed today.

His blond hair flopped over his brow when his head turned my way, and he took a melancholy drink from the beer he was nursing.

“I’m so fucking goddamn empty without her, Priest.”

Nodding, I stepped into the room, closing the door behind me. He obviously needed someone to talk to, and even though I didn’t feel like the right person for that job, I’d step into the shoes, anyway. Ever since everything went down with Sabbath, I’ve been questioning my faith, and I’ve quickly realized that my connection with God has been severely severed. It was this realization that pushed me in the direction of changing my rank, and asking for Warrant’s old Tail Gunner spot instead of being the club’s chaplain.

I didn’t want to be a fluke and throw out words I wasn’t sure I believed in anymore. Something inside me had deeply changed. There was a bitter emptiness hollowing me out, a decay that was slowly crumbling every damn part of me.

Was it Shasta that left me feeling so lost and without purpose? No. She was a nice girl, one that didn’t deserve the torment she was feeling inside. But it wasn’t her leaving the club that destroyed my faith, it was my own guilt, and bloody inner demons. I felt fucking empty too, but my emptiness revolved around the only person who had ever been there for me, and I somehow fucked that up, not even realizing it until it was far too late. Without Aileen in my life, my faith was non-existent.

Snyder finished off his bottle of beer, then threw it against the wall. The solid glass didn’t even break, it just hit the floor with a hollow clang.

“That bottle is a representation of my life, Priest. I somehow keep it together, even when everything inside me has been drained and depleted to fragmented air and space.”

I wasn’t sure how to help him. My own inner turmoil mirrored his; only my salvation was a lot closer to reach than his was.

“Snyder, tell me something. If you knew where she was, what would you do?”

“I’d go after her.”

“Why?”

“Because without Shasta, I feel incomplete, Priest. I can’t explain it, but I seriously feel like the woman is meant for me.”

“Then why did you share her with all of us?”

He sighed, looking back out the window just as the sky lit up with a flash of lightning. “Because I thought that’s what she wanted.”

“And now what do you think?”

Without looking my way and his voice dripping with regret, he said, “And now I’ve lost her forever.”

The information I’d been sitting on for weeks was burning in my mind. If I told him what I knew, would he resent me for keeping it from him? Would he hate me for helping her leave?

“Snyder... there’s something I need to tell you...” But before I could tell him anything, the door banged open, and in rushed Clash with the biggest fucking smile on his face.

“Get off your lazy asses and follow me. I’ve got something to show you that you’re not going to fucking believe!”

Chapter Fifteen

Shasta

The TV light illuminated Joe’s face as he turned my way for the tenth time of the night. Ever since we shared that dared kiss, he’d been trying to get closer and closer to me.

But if I had to be honest, even though the kiss was hot and made parts of me come to life, there wasn’t the emotion behind it, not like I felt whenhislips touched down on mine. Every night that I went to bed, I’d see Snyder’s eyes in my dreams, looking at me with all the love in the world, and then the sadness in them as I drove away, refusing to look back. The hurt, the longing, the devastation. All of it killed me inside.

I missed him. I guess a part of me missed all of them, but my heart yearned for Snyder the most, and the safety and peace just being near him brought me. I felt that kind of safety with Joe too, but it just wasn’t the same.

“They’re really going at it in there,” Joe quietly said, turning up the volume of the TV to drown out the moaning coming from his sister’s room.

Ever since Josie’s little confession, Ramona and Josie have been fucking like rabbits. Ramona blames it on the pregnancy hormones, but I really think it has to do with their connection. Both of them are head over heels for each other.

“I have to admit,” he continued. “I’m a bit jealous.”

“Why?” I questioned, turning my body toward him.

A shy smile quirked the corners of his lips, and I swear he was blushing in the glow of the TV. “Because I haven’t stopped thinking about our kiss since that night. You’re special to me, Shasta. I haven’t felt this way about a woman in a very long time.” His hand somehow found mine on the couch, and he gave it a squeeze. “I’d like to repair all those broken parts of you that I know are there. If you let me, of course.”

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