Page 20 of Owning the Prez’s Ol' Lady

My mouth went dry. Joe’s confession was sweet as hell, but it was giving me way too much anxiety. I wasn’t ready to move on, not when I was tethered to someone else’s heart—a heart I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to let go of.

“Shasta, are you okay?”

Shaking my head, I fought back the tears that were starting to form. At one point in my life, I had become a strong, badass woman, capable of killing the one man who destroyed me. I realize now that I was only strong because of the men who stood behind me. Alone, I was nothing more than a mess of emotions, and damaged beyond repair.

“I’m damaged goods, Joe. You have no idea who I was before I came here. You wouldn’t think those things if you knew about my past.”

His gentle fingers lifted my chin, forcing me to look him in those soul-devouring eyes. I could feel myself unraveling, needing the comfort of a man even though he wasn’t the man my body yearned for.

“I can see you drowning in silent sorrow, Shasta. Whatever happened in your past, I don’t care. I absolutely adore you, and can’t hold back my feelings any longer. I know you’re broken; I can see it in your eyes, but that’s why this makes so much sense. We make sense. Haven’t you felt the connection growing between us? Fate brought you to my doorstep for a reason, Shasta. I’d like to think that reason is because the universe wants us to be together.”

It sounded so perfect.

Like the universe really did want me to have my own happy ending with Joe. But I didn’t love Joe. I wasn’t sure if I was capable of loving anyone anymore. Except maybe Reese... he always seemed to linger in my heart, like the sun peeking through a wall of storm clouds on a rainy day.

“Joe, I—” He cut my words off with a kiss, one that lit a fire between my legs. That part of me still wanted attention, and it didn’t matter who was giving it to her.

For a fleeting second, I got lost in the passion behind his lips, my mouth opening willingly, my body submitting to him.

His hand fisted my hair, his other cupping parts of my body that hadn’t been touched in eons. My tits pebbled, the needy little bitches molding perfectly in his massive hands.

It would be so easy to give in to the temptation, half of me was already there, gobbling up his affection like a hungry bear.

It wasn’t until he started to lay me back on the couch, his erection settling firmly between my legs, that I finally woke up from the lusty fog I was in.

“Please stop,” I begged.

He stilled above me, that familiar frown returning to his face. The second he pushed up on his arms, I was quick to move out from underneath him, desperate to put some distance between him and all the temptation he dragged with him. “I’m sorry, Joe. I like you; I really do. But I’m not looking for a relationship right now. I’m no good for you. The quicker you realize that, the better off you’ll be. I’m sorry.”

“Shasta, wait!” he called out after me.

But it was too late... the damage was done, and our tainted kiss felt like poison on my lips.

Why did it feel like I was betrayinghim?

Why couldn’t I move on?

It’s not like Reese is out there looking for me. I told him I wanted to leave, and he let me go... and now he probably moved on without me.

If life wasn’t so fucked up, maybe I’d be capable of moving on too. But my life is a conundrum trapped in a nightmare, that’s permanently on repeat, cycling over and over like one very fucked upGroundhog Day.

I feel your pain, Bill Murray. This constant loop of suck is a miserable existence, one that I wish would come to an end. But I only know of one way to do that, and I’m just not strong enough for it yet.

Chapter Sixteen

Sandman

My knees wobbled beneath me, and my legs felt weak, but with the support of a cane, I hobbled through the familiar doors of my club, returning home for the first time in months.

The familiar scent of beer and cigarettes hit my nose, and the second the door slammed behind me, everyone’s head snapped up.

“Sandman!” Clash exclaimed. “What the fuck, man? What the hell is this?”

The corners of my lips slightly lifted as I waved at him. “O—Oh you, kn—know just h—hobbling along.”

That fucking stutter was getting annoying, but Imogen assured me that it would go away with time, it would just take some work.

“You’re walking!” Wasp exclaimed, pulling out a chair so I could sit down.

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