He hadn’t been hearing a word I had said and I didn’t think he would. I was seeing just how bad he was at being a boyfriend and certainly a fiancé. How had I not seen it before? Had I just been dazzled by his good looks and charm? That was no way to have a marriage or a life.
In the few hours I had been with Luke, he had shown me what it was like to be with a man who truly saw me. Who cared about me. Who put my needs and wants above his own. He allowed me to do the same for him. With Luke, I felt like we were partners. He made me feel like we could conquer anything if we were together and supported the other.
I was getting none of that from Ethan. I wondered if I ever had.
“You can have that for your wedding reception, but I’m not going to have it for mine. I gave you your engagement ring back last night. I don’t want it back. I don’t think that we should get married. Ethan, I’m sorry to say this, but I don’t want to marry you.”
“Wait. What? You don’t want to marry me? Since when?” Ethan asked.
“Since last night when you hit on Marla right in front of me.”
“That was nothing. You know I can’t help it if women find me attractive and want to talk to me. I don’t want to be rude.”
“Clearly. Yet it’s okay for you to disrespect your fiancé. It doesn’t matter, Ethan. We want different things. We are too different. It isn’t going to work out. I don’t think you even want to be married.”
“Mom will be so upset,” Ethan whispered.
I found it telling that he wasn’t upset or sad about it for himself but for his mother. It showed me how much of a hold she had over him and how he wasn’t getting married for the right reasons.
“She’ll get over it,” I said.
“What are you going to tell her? She was looking forward to this trip. You can’t ruin it for her,” Ethan said.
I wasn’t sure why it was my job to tell Gwyn that I wasn’t marrying her son, but I wasn’t going to get into that. He had one good point. It would be a horrible and awkward trip if we were to tell everyone we were over. There was still the other little tidbit about me sleeping with Luke and him proposing. I wasn’t sure how I had ended up engaged to two men who were related. Would it just be easier if everyone thought I was still with Ethan until we were back in Florida?
It had been such a shock to see Ethan; I hadn’t been able to take any time to process what this meant for Luke and me. I didn’t want us to be over, but I wasn’t sure how we could still be together. It wasn’t like Ethan would be okay calling me stepmom or having me over for Christmas dinner. I hated the thought of not being with Luke again but what other option was there? The best way to deal with it was not to deal with it until we were back on land.
“You’re right. It might be best not to tell anyone right away,” I said.
“Good. Then we can go on like nothing happened,” Ethan said and moved towards me again.
“No. We are never going to sleep together again,” I said and put my hand up to stop him.
“Why not?” Ethan looked hurt.
“Because we aren’t together and I don’t want to.”
Ethan looked confused by my statement and said, “But what if I want to?”
“Then you’re going to be doing it alone. It will be best if I stay in another room.”
“Come on, just because we aren’t going to get married doesn’t mean that we can’t still have some fun.”
“Actually, that is exactly what it means.” I walked around him and got my luggage. “Can you show me to another cabin?” I asked.
Chapter 10
Luke
I thought it was torture to be sitting in the same room with Natalie and Ethan and seeing him touching her. Having them in a room alone was worse. I could have a very active imagination when it came to being with a woman. I never thought I would have those thoughts turn to imagining what my son was doing with the woman that I loved.
My mind kept thinking about what they were doing in his room. I had images of him kissing her, touching her, and taking off her clothes. I wanted to believe that Natalie wouldn’t let him. She had to know that she belonged to me. No man but I would ever touch her. But what if she didn’t agree?
Did she see Ethan and think that he was the better man? Did she decide she wanted a younger man, one who could keep up with her? I rationalized she couldn’t care about Ethan, not in the same way she did me. But the thoughts kept spinning in my head and they wouldn’t go away.
I had never been a jealous man. Even when I found out that Gwyn was cheating on me, I wished her and Charlie nothing but the best. I had even come to their wedding. The women I had dated since had come and gone. If I had been at a bar or restaurant and seen them talking to another man or woman, it never bothered me. I had always believed that if a woman wanted to be with me, she would. If I wanted her, I would have her around, but I could always take them or leave them.
It was not the case with Natalie. When she wasn’t around, I missed her. I constantly thought about her and what she was doing. It did not help matters that she was in a room alone with my son, the man she said she was going to marry.