Page 60 of Love, Lilly

“Of course. I always miss you when you are not around, but after being with you last weekend, I have missed you like crazy.”

I stare at Oliver, speechless, and begin moving to the music again, stepping closer into his arms.

“Lilly, I am so sorry about the way I behaved last Sunday. You did not deserve it.”

I resist the urge to tell him it is OK and wipe the slate clean, asking instead, “What happened? Why did you go to her like that?”

“I don’t know, Lil. I guess I felt bad?”

He takes a deep breath after I nod for him to go on. “Emma has always been funny about you. For our entire relationship, she hinted at me having feelings for you. And she was right, of course,” he says, shocking me some more. “So, when I saw her, I didn’t want to hurt her with the reality that she had been right and that the minute we broke up, I finally acted on the feelings I have had for you for so long. And I guess I sort of had a moment of confusion. I have wanted to be with you for so long that the reality of it felt so momentous. What if I messed things up and we ruined our friendship? What if you decided I am too boring and ordinary for you? All these thoughts have been playing in my mind, so in that split second, I made a stupid decision, and I hurt you. And I am so sorry for that, Lil.”

At this confession, feeling breathless, I move in even closer and focus on the only part of his declaration that is reverberating in my mind. “You have feelings for me?”

Oliver looks at me in dismay. “I am so in love with you. I have been in love with you for as long as I can remember. I told you last weekend that I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. Lilly, you light up every room you enter. You are spontaneous and crazy. You fill every space with laughter and fun. You are so beautiful, even with mascara running down your face.” He says this part with a smile as I laugh at the memory. “You have been the best part of every memory I have, and I adore every single part of you. Even the parts that don’t seem to know how to arrive anywhere on time.” I laugh at this joke and soak in everything he has said to me. Oliver sees me, the good parts and the bad, and he loves them all. What more could I ask for?

With this thought in my mind, I am unable to resist him any longer. I launch myself at him, kissing him with abandon. The kiss goes on and on until finally, Oliver lifts his head and asks almost timidly, “Does that mean you have feelings for me too?”

I grin at him, feeling so happy my cheeks hurt from smiling so big. “Of course I have feelings for you. I am so in love with you I can barely see straight. Oliver, you have been my hero and my protector for as long as I can remember. You are the highlight of my childhood, and as an adult, I know I cannot live without you. And it’s not just because you are good with the organising and stuff,” I say with a big smile, wanting to tease him just a little bit. Oliver laughs with me, and I squeal in delight as he picks me up and spins me around.

“You love me?” he asks again.

“I do. So much. You are my Derek Shepherd,” I tell him, ignoring the confused look on his face. “You are my person. And I think that maybe we are perfect for each other.”

At this, he grabs my face and kisses me again. The kiss grows in urgency, turning into something more, and when we finally come up for air, Oliver says again with complete sincerity, “I am so sorry I hurt you like that, Lil. I will regret it forever. I hope I can make it up to you.”

I hug him tightly, knowing that what he did came from a place of both insecurity and decency, and forgive him in an instant.

“It’s OK, Ol. I understand now.” Smiling up at him, I probe for more details. “So when did you know you were in love with me?”

Oliver laughs and pulls me closer again. “You want all the details, hey?”

“Every one of them!” I demand, filled with delirious happiness.

“I seem to recall it was an ordinary afternoon, when you had been dumped by that jerk Zack Petty. And I just looked at you and I knew. And I haven’t been able to shake the feeling ever since.”

I feel breathless again at this confession. I remember that day so clearly. And that means he has loved me since he was eighteen. Feeling generous in the face of such vulnerability, I tell him, “I have been in love with you since before then, but true to form, I was a little late in realising it. But I know now that you have always been it for me,” I disclose, earning myself another heated kiss, one that makes my toes tingle and my heart do a happy dance.

Once I am able to come up for air, we look over to where my friends are standing, grinning at us, Amy with Dr Lucas McHottie standing close behind her—interesting—and I blow them a kiss. I turn back to Oliver and kiss him again, revelling in the fact that I can now do this whenever I want. Oliver, groaning, kisses me back, equally happy that our pretending days are over. We kiss again for so long that my friends have to interrupt us, to tell us they are leaving and to wish me the happiest of birthdays.

I hug them each goodbye, holding on to Amy for a little longer, telling her in a soft voice, “Thank you, Ames. For always believing in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself. And for pushing me into wanting more for myself. I love you!”

Amy looks at me with tears in her eyes, smiling at me. “Lilly, you deserve the world. I am so pleased you got your happy ending.”

And then she turns to Oliver and says in a stern voice, “Don’t mess this up!”

Oliver laughs and nods and pulls me back into his arms. Together we watch my friends leave, with Amy walking out with Lucas—I need to find out what is going on there—and we walk off the dance floor together.

“Do you want to go somewhere quiet and talk some more?” Oliver asks, close to my ear.

I think about the fact that it is my birthday and there has been no cake and exclaim, “Let’s get some dessert!”

Oliver nods and, taking my hand, leads me out of the club. As we are walking, I ask him one last time, just to be sure, “You really love me?”

Oliver stops, brushes his lips over mine, and looking deep into my eyes, tells me, “Yes, Lilly Hamilton. I really love you. To me, you are perfect.”

At this I give him a big smile and take his hand, happy that we are finally on the same page. As we leave, I think back to my now infamous New Year’s resolution to-do list and, in my mind, cross off number four. Resolution sorted. I can now add to any to-do list moving forward, love Oliver and only Oliver from now until forever.

The End.

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