Page 90 of Cross To Bear

“The nurse is gonna shit when she sees me on here with you,” he growled.

“Meh, I don’t care.” I couldn’t, not when the press of his body settled an ache inside me that outstripped that in my leg. This felt right, too damn right for me to stop doing. I nestled my head into the arm that was now acting like my pillow and then glanced meaningfully at his sketchbook. “Show me your work.”

“You really want to see it?”

I looked up then, staring into those pale blue eyes.

“It’s something you made. Of course I want to see it.”

“OK, just… don’t kick my arse, OK?” Seeing him get all nervous was as funny as it was alarming.

“Is this when I find out you do black velvet paintings of serial killer clowns on the down low?” I asked.

“No, but…”

It all became apparent as he opened the page he’d been working on when I woke up. There I was, shrouded in blankets, my head buried in the pillow, drawn in a series of lines on the page. He’d just started putting in the shading, making parts of me start to pop off the page as I just stared.

“Me?”

He let out a sigh, flicking through the pages as it became clear that this wasn’t a new thing, because page after page, there I was. Sometimes I was heavily stylised, like the kinds of graphics that work well in tattoos or airbrushed on custom bikes, but sometimes…

“How did you draw all of these?" I asked. “Like you didn't sit there sketching me at Nelly’s pool. I would’ve noticed that. How…?”

He smiled down at me, but the small line in his forehead made clear this wasn’t something he was entirely comfortable discussing.

“I’d draw what I saw each time I saw you from memory as soon as we got home. I had to.” His fingers stroked through my hair. “I had to get it out somehow, all this fucking longing.”

“You pined for me?” I smiled despite the fact I shouldn’t have, the idea sounding ridiculous.

“Always, sweetness.” He pressed his lips to my forehead. “Every fucking day until such point as you decide to accept the bond. Now, be a good girl and rest.”

How the hell was I supposed to do that after that admission, but after I looked through each drawing in his book, my eyelids grew heavy. My breathing evened out, and I nestled down into the crook of his arm. When he held me like this, I felt safe, secure, and more.

A man that pined for me? That deserved some sort of response. I’d been using the four of them selfishly to work past my broken heart, but no more. It’d snicked back together, healing due to their expert care and now it demanded something else. That I made clear just how much I cared about them, just like they did me. I nodded to myself as I fell back into sleep. Yep, that was just what I’d do.

Chapter 52

Hawk

I hoisted the basket of food I’d brought with me out of the truck and then walked towards the hospital.

The head cook at the hospital kitchen hadn’t really wanted to talk to me, but I made clear I wasn’t going anywhere. Once he saw I wasn’t going to punch his teeth down his throat, he seemed to calm down a little. I just needed to know whatever dietary considerations he had to take into account for sick patients before making clear I’d be feeding my girl going forward. No bland fucking jelly or stale sandwiches for her.

He’d said soft foods at first, because her throat might be sore from having a tube shoved down it during surgery… I’d growled at that mental image, silencing the cook. But we’d hammered out a proposed diet and right now I had a few thermoses of bacon and pumpkin soup ready to bring up to Maddie, as well as some soft bread rolls, just in case she wanted to mop them in the soup, getting them all soggy before taking a bite.

Had I brought butter? I wondered as I rode the elevator up. I meant to, but did I actually grab it? Crash had sent us home to sleep, though I couldn’t. I fucking couldn’t. Because every time I closed my eyes, I saw her lying there, covered in blood, pale and still as a discarded doll, as the ambos wheeled her in. I gave up any pretence of sleeping and went to work in the kitchen, trying to make her something soft, palatable and hopefully assist in her healing. But when I walked in the door of her room, I saw the immediate threat to that.

“You were in an accident…?” The older woman clustered closer, staring down at Maddie with a mixture of horror and frustration. “And I had to find out from the neighbours?”

Who the fuck was this and why was she interrogating my mate when she was laid up in hospital? I dropped the basket down by the door and then strode over to the bed. And where the fuck was Bjorn? He was supposed to be sitting by her bedside, making sure that just this sort of thing didn’t happen. Didn’t matter, I was here now. I spun around to face the two intruders, my lips peeling back in a snarl.

Only to stare into Maddie’s brown eyes, transplanted into another woman’s face, the skin around them creased and somewhat care worn. Her mouth tightened when she saw me, but the cupid’s bow of it? That was all Maddie. So this old duck and the grumpy cunt behind her, scowling at me like I was dog shit on his shoe, were her parents.

Great.

“Hey…”

Maddie’s voice jerked my focus back to her and it was a welcome distraction. The way her whole face lit up as she smiled? Yeah, I was never getting used to that.

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