Page 119 of Cross To Bear

Bjorn was getting all growly and protective, not because Maddie was upset, but because he was feeling uncomfortable. The big bad tattooist was apparently a bit repressed in the sack.

“I’m gonna find that out, numb nuts,” I shot back, stepping out from under the shower head and turning off the water. “Which has fuck all to do with you. She told me to be prepared, but didn’t tell me what for, so I’m making sure everything’s squeaky clean and perfect for Maddie.”

And the preparation for this kind of thing was all part of the ritual I enjoyed working through but this repressive dick had to bust in and try and ruin it.

“So unless you want to watch me shoot warm water up my arse too, get the fuck out.”

Apparently those were the magic words to get Bjorn to piss off. Good to know. But while he beat a hasty retreat, confusion and curiosity fighting it out inside his thick skull, Hawk looked me over with a speculative air.

“I don’t want to watch that,” he told me.

“Good, because I don’t really want to show anyone that.” I was feeling all keyed up, my fingers twitching, my whole body thrumming with energy.

“But you could talk to me about it some time. Someone getting shit on their fingers turned me off the idea of anal play, but…” He looked at the bag, then me, like I wasn’t stark fucking naked right now. “This ensures that won’t happen?”

“You play with someone’s butt, there are no guarantees,” I said. “This is your best bet, but it takes some time, so how about you piss off right now?” I flicked my fingers at the door. “But yeah, I’ll answer your questions later, including whether or not Maddie is even into that idea.”

I felt like a dickhead as the door closed, getting all wound up over what could potentially be nothing, but… I remembered her with that camera, stripping my clothes off and dissecting my body with her lens, but it was more than that. She created a vibe where I could just put my shit to one side and be. I wanted her like I wanted my next breath, but I needed… That, someone who looked at me, all of me and didn’t flinch away. So I went to work, my cock rising as I started the enema process. Not so much from the sensation as the anticipation. Maybe this wasn’t on the cards. Maybe none of it was. Maddie had a strong sub side, and she might only feel comfortable there, and I knew I could step up. My energy as a dom was a little reckless, a little uncontrolled, but I could calm it down for her.

But maybe I wouldn’t have to.

I went through the motions, cleaning myself out, then going over to the sink to wash my hands, then brush my teeth. I’d be perfect for her in every way. Not a grease stain, not a stray whiff of sweat, not a hair out of place. I bound my hair back tightly into a bun and then walked down the hall.

Was she going to come to my room or should I be waiting in hers and how did she want me? My mind churned over the possibilities, picking each one up, considering it then coming up with a different one. I was getting lost in the swirl of my mind, thoughts coming faster and faster until I remembered the trick the first girl who’d topped me used.

“Kneel.” I heard her voice inside my head as I sank down to the floor, sitting in the perfect position. “Good boy. Now take a slow breath in. Not too deep. Just fill your lungs naturally. Now hold it. Well done. Let it out slowly now, pursing your lips.”

As soon as I did, the quiet fell over me, stopping time, robbing me of a sense of place, feeling nothing but the press of the carpet into my bare legs and the stillness. It went on and on, without ending, slowing my heart rate down until I heard this.

A little snick as the door was opened, then the soft pads of feet as they came closer. What was I going to do if it was Razor? The fucker would laugh himself sick if he caught me like this. He was just as likely to take a fucking photo and share it with the whole shop. I wanted, needed to look around, to find out who stepped into my room, when I heard her voice.

“You are so… beautiful.”

Her words, the way her voice broke as she said them, the vicious pride that came from the fact that I was the one that had her saying them. Maddie. All of that quietness was dispelled, replaced by something far sweeter.

When she tipped my chin up, forcing me to meet her eyes, I felt filled with a golden light. Expansive yet airy, insubstantial and yet stronger than steel, it felt like we shared that as we gazed into each other’s eyes. I wanted to say something, anything, but then she smiled.

“And look at you, posed so perfectly.” Did she see how straight my spine was? That my butt was placed exactly on my heels? That my hair was pulled back from my face, leaving me nothing to hide behind. “Is this all for me?”

I dared to nod, the movement feeling strange after being so still.

“Thank you. You make such a pretty picture, kneeling like this. So pale and unmarked.” Her hands spanned my shoulders, taking in their breadth, the strength there, right before her nails flexed. “Makes me want to mess you up a little.”

I felt the harsh scrape of them as her fingers raked across my chest, leaving red welts in their wake. I lost all control of my breath, it coming in harder and faster as I felt the tingle that could be the precursor of pain but wasn’t.

Did I want her to hurt me? That wasn’t usually the way it went with other girls, but… maybe? I wasn’t entirely into the idea or put off by it. It was like she was reading my mind as she smoothed her palm over those red lines, soothing them away.

“Maybe not that way. I don’t think I could bring myself to hurt something as perfect as you.”

That, that was what I wanted. I wasn’t Crash or Cayden right now, my ego shoved to one side and wasn’t that a relief? Instead, I was something depersonalised, perfect, but not a person and that was somehow shameful and exhilarating all at the same time.

“Perhaps I should just stroke you like the little pet you are?”

I couldn’t see her properly, standing above me as she was, but I could smell her floral scent and I could feel her warmth, right as those same nails scraped glacially slow over my nipple. It was like that small bead was connected straight to my dick, making it jerk up against my stomach, which made her chuckle.

“Oh, I think that’s absolutely what you want. But how hard?” Her nails dug in slightly, just enough to make the pleasure spike harder, my eyes half closing as my breath fanned over my lips. “Let’s find out.”

Her nails came to a point, the hard lacquered edges pulling there, making me ache for her. Pre-cum drooled out the end of my dick, anticipating everything that was still to come, when those beautiful fingers would wrap around me, jerking me hard and fast as I gasped.

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