Page 106 of Cross To Bear

No matter what we’d agreed, a request from Maddie superseded all of that. I held her close and it all came out, one painful word after another.

“Mum always thinks she knows best.” My fangs locked together, but I forced them apart. “She had it tough when she was a kid, so as far as she’s concerned, no one knows more than her. It’s half the reason why she took Jesse on, I think. Some people treat their adopted kids as other, not quite family, but Mum… She didn’t relate to me like she did my brother. Jesse and her, they share a bond, both of them being survivors of child abuse, while I…”

I tried to smile, I did, but I failed utterly and that had Maddie gripping me tighter.

“I was given all the things that she missed out on growing up, and somehow in her mind, that made it all right to give Jesse more. I had more stuff to spare, but Jesse got more attention, more love, more concern, more time. Just more.” I stroked Maddie’s cheek, half expecting her to jerk away from me. “She thought she had an ally in you when you started going out with my brother.”

“And now we’ve both pissed her off, being with each other and not looking after Jesse.” I nodded slowly. “But she knows she can’t control us, right?” She peered at me more closely. “Right?”

“Not if the messages are anything to go by.”

I pulled away regretfully, not wanting to leave Maddie’s warmth for anything, but it had to happen. There was a strange kind of relief, to be sharing this with someone else. I’d shown the guys some of the chats early on, but after a while I felt… Ashamed wasn’t quite the right word, but it was close. That my own mother would behave like this, with her eldest son. I tapped my passcode in and then handed Maddie my phone.

She looked at what was written with a frown that just grew deeper by the second. Each message was read first, then as the theme grew repetitive, Maddie skipped through them, just like I did. You’re being selfish, Bjorn. You only think about what you have to lose, not Jesse. Son, it’s time to talk this out. Like I had no say in the matter. But I winced when I saw the one Maddie was reading now. You’re letting that girl get between you and your family.

That girl.

Like Maddie wasn’t Jesse’s life partner for three years and now, hopefully mine for the rest of hers. I went to take the phone away, but Maddie snatched it back.

“This is what you have had to deal with on a daily basis?” she asked.

“It’s fine. They’ll get over themselves soon enough.”

“Sure, they will.” Her fingers moved lightning fast, going into each of the contacts of my harassers and blocking every single one of them.

Just like I’d wanted to since the accident.

But what if there was an emergency? I’d told myself. What if something happened to Jesse or Mum? How would I deal with the fact no one could get in contact with me? The responsibility weighed heavily on me, but Maddie just brushed it off like it was nothing. I shook my head, then smiled.

“Thanks. I could’ve done that myself—”

“No, you couldn’t.” Her hand went to my arm. “And I understand why. She’s your mother. No matter how outrageously she’s acting, she’s still the woman who raised you. Our parents know where all our soft places are, all our weaknesses, and it goes without saying we expect them to be protective of that, but sometimes…” She let out a sigh. “Sometimes they just feel the need to press down on them.” Her hand slid into mine, her thumb brushing over my knuckles. “But it's OK. She’s not my mum, and while I haven’t got a very good track record of standing up to Nelly, I’m pretty sure I can learn.”

My smile came without thinking, feeling like the grey clouds of my bad mood parted finally, to let in the sun.

“You gonna get all growly and protective of me, baby?”

She grabbed me hard as I pulled her close.

“Just as protective as you are of me.” She held up a fist blindly. “Team kids of crazy parents all the way.”

I knocked my knuckles against hers then kissed the crown of her head.

“So, apart from our family problems, what brings you by today?” I asked.

“Well…” Before I’d smelled the warm floral honey of her scent, but now it sharpened with a weird combination of excitement and fear. “I thought maybe you could show me what you have locked away in that drawer?”

Chapter 60

“The key…”

Bjorn glanced over at the exact drawer I meant. The one where he’d stored the toy he used on me, but that wasn’t what I was after.

“You want to go flying with the butterfly again?” Bjorn tried to laugh this off, but I saw the look in his eyes. It was the same as when he’d unlocked it the last time.

“You said you bought the toy because you had a fantasy.” I was pressing too hard, but I couldn’t seem to stop. “You said you collected all the pieces together in the hope it’d all fall into place one of these days.”

“So you were paying attention.” He raked his hand through his hair then started to pace, something that had me concerned. I felt like we were turning a corner, that his mood was improving, but Bjorn looked tense as he right now. But he stopped in his tracks when he caught me watching him. Those golden-brown eyes fixed on me, that small line between his brows something I wanted to smooth away. “But you know what happens if I open that drawer?”

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