Page 107 of Cross To Bear

“No, tell me.”

He let out a small sigh, looking every bit the skittish animal, but he pulled open another drawer and pulled out the key. I felt the rough texture of the long piece of leather tied through the key, the cool of the brass, right as he placed it on my palm and then closed my fingers around it.

“It’s us, Maddie, or my version of it. That key.” He nodded to my hand. “It’s like a wedding or engagement ring. You open that drawer, it’d be like you putting my ring on. No, more than that. Because what’s in that drawer is a whole lot more permanent. Don’t open it, not until you’re ready. Don’t unlock it until you know in your heart that you’re mine, just like I do that I’m yours. Be real certain…”

His voice trailed away as I walked over to the drawer and unlocked it, looking down to find the sex toy, clean now. I moved slowly, pushing aside the lurid butterfly to find this.

Bjorn thought he had to warn me off, check to see if I was in, but we’d passed that point the moment I woke up from the crash. I was his mate and if he needed what was in that drawer to prove it, I’d do whatever that took. But all of that resolve was no help, as I pulled a piece of paper out.

“Oh my god, it’s beautiful.”

It was a tattoo design. Of course, it was. That was the medium that Bjorn used to communicate his particular genius, and I could see it now. Flowers, delicately drawn and only just shaded, swirled upwards, the skill used to create it evident. I looked up at him then, blinking and he smiled.

“The four of us, we always think you smell like flowers. I kept drawing different ones, using my memory of that scent to form the design. I did roses and daisies, all the usual flowers that people ask for, but they weren’t right. It wasn’t until Jack brought Cress a bunch of peonies that I knew what the design had to be.”

I just stared at the drawing, unable to believe what I was hearing.

“Florists often cut them when the peonies are still tightly curled up into buds.” His explanation came out faster and faster. “They’re apparently super expensive, so having some buds that will slowly unfurl helps people feel like they’re getting value for their money. But the shape of the petals, curved in to protect the centre of the flower, they reminded me of you, of us.”

He ran a finger down the drawing, and I felt an irrational desire to knock his hand away, lest he smudge it.

“That’s why there’s five flowers in the design. Each one of us curled around some secret, some hurt, but if we all grow together…” He shook his head. “Maybe we can create something beautiful together.”

“Tattoo me.” I shoved the drawing into his chest then recoiled when I saw the paper crease.

“Maddie—”

“I mean it, Bjorn. Put this on me, wherever you want it. I’m…” I looked up into his eyes, not able to hold this back anymore. “I’m ready. If you are.” That was tacked on the end, and he just shook his head, tossing the drawing onto his desk before turning to me.

“If I am?” He grabbed my wrists and rubbed his thumb on the sensitive underside. “I’ve been ready for so fucking long, Maddie. If you’re sure this is what you want—”

“It is. Seriously, it is.”

I clambered onto the tattoo bench, wrestling up my top, then changing my mind and pulling my arm out of the sleeve.

“On your arm?” Bjorn looked me up and down. “If we do it over the shoulder, you’ll still be able to hide it during business hours.”

“I don’t want to be able to hide it. I want to be able to look down every day and see it. I want the whole world to see it. Something like this… It can’t just be lurking under my clothes, only revealed when I get naked.” I stared at him, willing him to see it. “I’m ready to wear your mark, Bjorn. Get your tattoo gun and make me yours.”

“Fuck…” Any reticence in him was instantly dismissed as he strode over to the door and stuck his head out. “Cress! No one comes in here today, y’hear me?”

“The boss’ sexy times are not to be disturbed? Got it. Just keep the panting and moaning to a minimum. I’ve got some clients coming through to look at the latest exhibition.”

“Oh my god, that is so embarrassing.” I shrank back against the vinyl bench. “Did you just tell Cress we’re fucking in here?”

“She assumed, and it’s the best way to ensure she doesn’t come into the room.” He grabbed the drawing and some transfer paper before sitting down on his stool and rolling closer. “So we need to talk about size as well as placement.”

“Big.” I answered without question. “Big enough no one can miss it.”

“Right.” He was trying to be calm and patient, but I caught his smile. “And that means more pain.”

“You’ll kiss it better, won’t you?”

The smile was well and truly here now, his whole face lighting up with it.

“You need to trust me when I say that it will hurt far more than you think it will.” He looked at me meaningfully. “And the bigger we do this, the more it will hurt.”

“That kind of makes sense, doesn’t it?” I held his gaze with mine. “There’s been a whole lot of pain since the moment we met.” I thought about him and Jesse and the way he’d described their relationship. “Before that even. Maybe this will be one past painful thing. We get all the pain out now and then, it’s over with.”

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