Page 3 of Love You Still

I nod, unwrapping myself from around my father and pushing to my feet. My eyes remain focused on my feet as I grab my backpack off the bed and shuffle to my bedroom door. I want them to lie to me. To tell me everything is going to be okay and that the pain will disappear with time.

“Seli.” Lydia reaches her hand toward me, but I shake my head, knowing that if she touches me, I’ll break.

I can barely breathe.

The walls are closing in around me.

But I continue to put one foot in front of the other, carefully making my way down the stairs and out the front door. I can hear my parents whispering behind me as I open the car door and slide into the back seat. Pain beyond anything I could imagine rips through my body with each movement. And I pray things will get easier with time.

“Are you sure you don’t want to at least stop by and see him before leaving?” Lydia asks as she climbs into the back seat beside me and grips my forearm tightly, tethering me to the seat.

“I can’t, Lyds. If I do—” My voice breaks off, and searing pain flows through my entire body as waves of agony pull me under. Tears pour down my face as my parents climb into the front seat and start the car. “I just want the pain to stop.” I bury my face in my hands and cry, trying to make sense of what has now become my life.

“Okay,” she whispers, threading her fingers through mine and giving my hand a squeeze.

I turn my head, staring out the window. I find comfort in the familiar scenery as it goes by. I send up a silent prayer, yearning for numbness to cut me off from all these feelings that I’m so desperate to forget.

Chapter 2

Vance

“You’re so whipped.” Connor chuckles as I tuck my cell phone into the back pocket of my jeans.

“Maybe.” I shrug before running my hand through my hair. “But she’s leaving in a few months for New York. I need to get as much of her as I can.”

My heart constricts in my chest at the mention of my and Selina’s pending separation. When she told me she got into Juilliard, I was ecstatic for her. Dancing has been her passion for most of our lives, and she deserves this chance, but there’s a small part of me that wishes things were different.

“You two are meant to be together, just like Lyds and me.” Connor slaps me on the back before flopping onto his bed. “Everything will work out.”

Connor and I have been best friends since birth—well, not really, but he’s the brother I always wanted. We both grew up here in Tyson’s Creek, living only a few blocks away from each other. He’s also the only person who understands my feelings for Selina because he feels the same way about Lydia.

I knew the moment I laid eyes on her that we were going to get married. It was a crisp fall day, the sun filtering through the tree in front of the local elementary school. Connor and I wereroughhousing, as boys do, shoving each other back and forth as we made our way into the building, but the moment I saw her, everything else ceased to exist. Her chocolate-brown hair was pulled into two pigtails nestled on either side of her head. Each had a red bow tied around the top with long spiral curls brushing her shoulders. Seli was talking to someone—I have no idea who—but then she smiled. Her entire face lit up with joy before she giggled softly at whatever they were saying, and then our eyes locked with each other. In that moment, it felt like I’d been struck by lightning. Every muscle in my body froze in place, and my eyes widened in surprise. It was at that moment I knew I had found the missing piece of my soul.

Most five-year-old children would’ve ignored whatever happened between us, but not me. I strolled right up to her, introduced myself, and promised her we were going to get married someday. We’ve been inseparable ever since. Our parents and friends swore things would cool off as we got older. That I was just sweet on the first pretty girl I saw, but I knew in my heart that she was the only girl I’d ever love. It wasn’t until Connor and Lydia fell in love that I had someone else who understood how I was feeling. I love Selina Grymes beyond all reason, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I flop down onto the bed beside him. “I know, but I just wish I was going with her.”

And that is my only problem. Juilliard is one of the most prestigious fine arts colleges in the country, but it’s also in New York City, 935.5 miles away from my house. Yes, that is exactly how far away we’ll be from each other for the next four years. I googled it. Seli and I are soul mates. There’s no denying that to anyone, but how can two people function being that far away from their other half? I hate leaving her at her front door to walk the few blocks home after our dates. I’ll completely lose my mind if I have to go months without seeing her. So, the day she told meshe was going to Juilliard, I applied to every college in New York City. My grades are good, so it wasn’t too hard for me to snag a spot in next year’s incoming freshman class. All I was waiting for was for her to ask me to go with her.

“There’s nothing keeping you here, Vance. You got into NYU and snagged an amazing scholarship. You’re the one who chose to stay here in Tyson’s Creek.”

“She didn’t ask me to go with her,” I grumble, rubbing the spot over my heart on my chest.

A part of me wanted to tell her I would go with her, but a much bigger part of me wanted it to be her decision. We’ve been together for most of our lives in some manner. First as friends, then as boyfriend and girlfriend. Maybe she is hoping for some time away from me to spread her wings and fly. I know Selina loves me with all her heart. Not only has she told me a million times, but she also shows me every day with her actions.

“Did you ever think she was waiting for you to offer?”

“The thought crossed my mind, but Seli would’ve said something if she wanted me to come,” I reply with conviction.

Selina is a straightforward and to-the-point type of person. If she wants something, she tells me, even if it’s supposed to be a gift. So why wouldn’t she ask me to come with her if that’s what she really wanted? But that doesn’t stop the nagging voice in the back of my mind from wondering why she never asked me to go with her.

“Do you think she’s going to break up with you?”

“No,” I sigh, trying to make sense of all the swirling emotions running through my mind.

I don’t, for one minute, doubt that Selina and I are meant to be together. She is going to be my wife, the mother of my children, but is there a chance she’s having second thoughts? Is she still as much in love with me as she was a few years, months, or even weeks ago?

I shake the negative thoughts from my head. “Selina loves me. End of story. New York isn’t that far away; we’ll figure it out. We only have a few more months to spend together, and I plan to make the most of them.”

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