“Come on, let’s get away from here.” She offered a kind smile and her hand, and I stared at it for a few seconds before taking it. I probably looked a little unhinged right now, hyperventilating on the pavement outside the bowling alley, so it wasn’t the worst suggestion to get some privacy.
Jade walked me to her car, and we sat inside with the windows down. Silence reigned for a few minutes while we breathed in the fresh air.
“Did you freak out because I kissed you?” she asked. “I’m sorry about that.”
“No, no. It’s okay. It’s…complicated.” My phone vibrated again, loud enough for us both to hear it.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Jade asked. “No judgement here. You wouldn’t believe the secrets this little Clio contains. Horrifying things that would keep you up at night.”
I gave her a little smile. She was sweet, trying to make me laugh.
“And, can I just say, Jess, it’s completely okay if you’re not feeling this. It’s not a big deal. Sometimes you just don’t feel it, and that’s fine.”
Tears stung my eyelids. “You’re being too nice to me.”
“Wow, you really aren’t cut out for this, are you?” She smiled when I gave her a look. “Too soon?”
I let out a soft laugh. “No, it’s fine. You’re right. I’m right. I just suck at this.”
She leaned back in the driver’s seat. “So, who’s the girl or guy?”
“Girl.” I groaned. “God. Is it that obvious?”
“Well, if a girl I’m taking on a date is more interested in her phone, and panics when I kiss her, I can kinda put two and two together.”
My head fell into my hands. “Oh god. I’m so sorry, Jade. I didn’t mean to mess you around.”
She waved away my concern. “It’s fine. Honestly. We’ve only been on two dates. It’s cool.” She offered me a mint from inside her glove box, and I accepted. “So, do you want to talk about it?”
I sighed. “I’m not really supposed to.”
“What? Are they a princess or the prime minister’s daughter or something?”
I snorted. Rebecca couldn’t be less like a princess. “Not quite. It’s…an arrangement of sort.”
She nodded. “Right. Something casual that’s now more serious?”
Okay, that is a little scary. “Wow. How did you get that so fast?”
“Let’s just say I’ve had a lot of experience in this area.” Jade looked out the window briefly before turning back to me. “The way I see it is, you have three options. One, you don’t do anything and let this eat you up inside—which, by the look of it, is serving you great so far. Two, you end things with her. If you don’t want anything serious, and you mean that, you better run, girl, while you still can.” Her eyes burned into mine, a look in there that I hadn’t seen before. It was a little frightening.
“And the third?” I asked tentatively.
She raised her eyebrows and gave me a pointed look. “You admit you’ve got feelings for her, and you talk to her about it.”
I tucked my head into my hands and grumbled. “Nooooo. That’s so not what I want to hear.”
“Sometimes the truth hurts.”
And knocks the wind out of you, driving you to have a panic attack in the middle of a bowling alley.
There was no denying I had feelings for Rebecca; that was glaringly obvious. The three blind mice could’ve told me that one. But telling her? That was a whole different thing entirely. I wouldn’t even know where to start.
“Well…shit.” I laughed, and Jade joined in.
“Shit indeed. Feelings—who needs ’em, huh?”
Guilt swelled in me. “You sure you’re okay?”