Page 95 of Sins and Secrets

Alessio won’t kill me. I know he won’t. We love each other and he isn’t capable of that. He may have killed a lot of people in his life, but he isn’t capable of killing me.

That’s what I tell myself as we get out of the car and head into the house.

The silence between us is deafening as I follow him to the kitchen. This discussion is far from over. We both know it.

“I’ve got a trip to Savannah tomorrow night,” I say, thinking that I may as well give him all the information he isn’t going to like at the same time. After all, in comparison to treason, a trip to Savannah is nothing.

His face turns a bright shade of red while his lips press into a thin line. “You really think now is the time to go to Savannah?”

“Christian agreed to go with me. He and two of his men are going to be my protection while I’m there. I’m meeting with that real estate agent you recommended. There's a piece of property that would be a great place to build a resort and I have to act quickly.”

He exhales slowly, leaning against the counter and crossing his arms. “I’m glad that you are taking people with you. Thank you.”

My heart skips a beat as I watch him, waiting for the rest of the explosion. I know it’s coming.

“But before you go, I need to get this straight. Not only do you have a trip to Savannah that you’ve likely been hiding from me, but you’ve been thinking about committing treason. You want to leave the famiglia? You want to leave me?”

I bite back the tears that burn in my eyes. I have nobody to blame for this situation but myself. “I used to want to leave, yes. But never you. I love you. I don’t want to leave you.”

“So, you settled for staying because you love me? Is that supposed to make me feel better? Sitting here and knowing how unhappy you are? Fuck, Billie. Do you even know what an impossible situation you’ve put me in?”

“I know that this is horrible for you. I didn’t plan on falling in love with you, though. I thought the auction would be a quick way to get money and get out of here. I didn’t anticipate you coming that night. What was I supposed to do? Admit to the leader of the mafia that I want to leave? I’m sorry, Alessio. I’m really sorry. I should have told you, but we were in too deep. I didn’t know how.”

He shakes his head and heads down the hall. “You should have fucking told me once we started to fall for each other. Have a good fucking trip, Billie. I hope you get everything you want out of it.”

I watch him disappear down the hall, swiping away the tears that fall once he’s gone. This isn’t the way I want to leave things before I go away. I need to make them right. I don’t know what’s going to happen when I’m gone. He could get into a fight with Paolo and die.

I don’t want him to potentially die thinking I was still going to betray him.

As I follow him down the hall, I take a deep breath. My heart is still racing and I have no idea how to make this right. I can’t lose him, though. He is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

Continuing through life without him by my side isn’t an option I’m willing to consider.

He’ll leave you for this. Everyone leaves. What makes him any different?

Voices echo from my father’s suite down the hall. I stand outside the door, taking a moment to myself before I go in there and beg for Alessio’s forgiveness.

“She stopped talking about moving away a long time ago,” Papa says, his voice gravelly. He sighs. “You have to let this anger go. It’s only going to poison your relationship.”

“If anyone else finds out about this, they’re going to expect me to kill her. The Marchetti mafia is blood in and death out, Arturo.”

When I peek around the door, Alessio is pacing back and forth across the room. Papa sits in a chair, running his hand down his face. I duck back around the corner before either of them sees me.

I feel horrible about listening to their conversation, but I can’t drag myself away either.

“I know. Are you going to do it?” Papa’s voice sounds choked. “Billie has had a hard life. She’s always blamed herself for her mother leaving, even if she says nothing about it. She thinks that everyone else will leave.”

My stomach plummets to my feet. I’ve never spoken about any of that with Alessio and I didn’t plan on doing it either. I try to avoid the topic of my mother as much as possible, and I’ve done a pretty good job over the years.

Papa shouldn’t have brought her up.

“You can’t kill her,” Papa says, defiance in his voice. “She may not have told you the truth about what she was doing and planning for, but did you ever stop to think about why?”

“Arturo, I don’t know if I’m going to be given the option to save her,” Alessio says, his voice cracking. “I’ll do everything I can to keep her safe, but you know there are problems in the ranks. Someone may come for her when I can’t protect her.”

It guts me to hear him admit that I may still die for this. I know I put him in a horrible position but there was a tiny part of me that would think he wouldn’t stick to the old ways.

He had me fooled. I thought that he was changing for the better. Alessio was becoming the man he’s hidden deep inside of him for so many years.

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