Page 16 of Perfect Chemistry

“I have no idea what to do, Andie. What if it was a mistake? What if he only kissed me because I kissed him?” I rambled off question after question.

She shook her head again. “No. Nope. Not buying that. Look, I know you are not as experienced as you let people believe. Believe me, I know. You would rather people think you’re a slut than admit to being the only virgin in our senior class,” she chided me. “But you must, at some point, take a leap of faith. If it doesn’t work out, then so be it. You’re leaving for the military after graduation anyway.”

“What if it does work out?” I asked my voice barely a whisper. I didn’t want to hold on to hope for anything. My entire life had been in chaos because of Kai. Because of that kiss.

“Then you take that bridge when you get to it,” she said without batting an eye.

That was Andie. Always an optimist, and yet so grounded. She was the oldest soul I knew.

When we got to Alex’s farm, the field was crowded with cars. My eyes scanned over the area and found his blue van. He was here. I wanted to throw up.

My door opened and I jumped, startled to find Andie standing next to me. I was so lost in my own world that I didn’t realize she had gotten out of the car.

“Let’s go,” she said, pulling me out of the seat as soon as my seatbelt was unbuckled.

We walked up to the barn arm in arm, and she handed me a beer.

“Andie, I can’t drink that. I’ll be sick as a dog,” I said, scrunching my nose.

“Oh, yeah… You’re the weirdo who is actually allergic to hops and barley,” she reminded herself while cackling at me. She put the beer back on the table, grabbed a cup with soda instead, and then dumped her pocket flask into it. “There you go, one rum and coke!”

I laughed with her this time. She came prepared for me. I accepted the cup and started drinking it slowly as we wove through the throng of people from school. I found a spot to sit away from everyone else and look around for Kai. It didn’t take long before I spotted him scowling at all of the couples sitting together.

[Why do you look so angry one second and then fine the next?]

I watched as he pulled his phone out to read the message. His head shot up, and he looked around the barn for me. I ducked behind a stack of hay next to me and watched as he typed a message on his phone.

A second later, my phone vibrated and I saw his message.

??Kai??:[Where are you?]

I smiled and typed back.

[Right where I can see you. ??]

He started to walk toward the corner where I was standing, and my heart skipped. He was going to find me. He sat on the other side of the stack I was standing behind and looked down at his phone.

My phone vibrated again.

??Kai??: [What about now?]

I smiled and texted him back, giggling quietly to myself. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. If he rejected me- I couldn’t even think about that.

[This is the best view yet. All alone and vulnerable… ??]

His eyes were scanning the barn. I watched him down the rest of his drink, and I did the same with my rum and coke. Liquid courage and all that. While he was looking at his phone, I walked over to stand in front of him. My phone vibrated, but I didn’t even look to see what was written. I didn’t want to know.

His body tensed when he noticed my feet standing between his. I watched as his head slowly lifted, his eyes taking in my legs but then stopping at my waist.

I reached down and tilted his head back to look up at me. I had been in love with these blue eyes for as long as I could remember. They darkened when he was angry and turned pristine and clear when he laughed. I had seen everything, yet they had never looked at me like they were now. I didn’t know what this was, and I was too afraid to ask.

“Here I am, Kai. Talk.”

He stood up and I felt like my chest was going to burst. I didn’t know what to say to him. I took a step back, but he followed me. I took another, trying to increase the space so that I could breathe and think clearly, but he followed step for step until my back hit a solid wall, and I could run no further.

“Why- What do you want to say?” I barely whispered the words; my voice was cracking under the thrum of emotions pounding in my chest. I stared into his eyes, waiting for him to speak.

When he finally tried to say something, I didn’t want to hear it.

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