Page 10 of Mistletoe and Macarons

“You weren’t talking just to Matt?” It’s little more than a whisper, and honestly, I’m not sure how I got the words out at all in any state.

“It’s a group chat, Ben,” she says, her breath catching on a sob. I look at Matt for reassurance and he nods.

“But I was… I wasn’t here. And the two of you… she was full of your cum… and…”

“As she has been before, and will be again, I’m sure. But she’s also full of yours now, too, Ben. What’s the matter? Please, tell us. Share with us. This won’t work unless we talk.”

“Do you want it to?” I blurt out without fully thinking it through. Jocelyn stiffens in my arms and pushes herself to a sitting position.

“Yes!” She stares up at me, her forehead creased in confusion. “Don’t you?”

I don’t answer.

“What’s the matter, Ben?” she whispers, her teeth worrying at her bottom lip. “When you came in, you said that you loved me. And then you fucked me on the kitchen counter. Were you only saying it so that you could—”

“No!” Oh my god, how can she think that? “I meant it. I love you. I love you both.” I add, turning to look at Matt. “But…”

Jocelyn moves until she’s straddling my lap, then she allows the blanket to fall from her shoulders and her hands move to her belt.

“Joss,” Matt groans. “You’re distracting him with sex again, and we need to know what’s actually wrong. He’s said he loves us, but there’s something… something not right, isn’t there? Ben?”

Jocelyn is gazing at me in confusion, her wide-pretty eyes full of love, but it’s tinged with doubt and fear.

“But I don’t know what else to do,” she whispers.

“Take off the robe,” I order her, suddenly angry that Matt is once again deciding what should and shouldn’t happen. She pauses for a fraction of a second, looks at Matt, and that is the final straw. I grip her chin, forcing her to keep her eyes on me. “Don’t look at him for once. For once, you’re going to do what I say. And so is he. You say you love me, but do you love me enough to stop controlling me? To let me—”

I break off, because I’m not that sure myself what exactly it is I want out of this, but it’s sure as hell not Matt making all the decisions. Jocelyn nods frantically and slips the robe off without taking her eyes from mine. I pull at the robe and she shifts so that I can yank it out from between us and drop it on the floor at my feet. I put my hands on her hips and lifther, then use one hand to hold my cock while the other guides her down onto my length. It’s painfully hard and difficult to believe I already came twice this evening and the feel of her warm, wet pussy around me feels so fucking amazing that I wish we could stay here like this forever. In one way, at least.

In another… Well, things between us are unsettled, emotional and I’m not sure how to undo the damage I know I’m currently doing to our relationship. I’ve been desperate for her to arrive back, and then to think that it might all end — I know Matt’s right, even if I don’t want to admit it. I am the one fucking all this up for myself. But just going along with stuff to keep the peace… I can’t do it anymore.

Joss squeezes her inner muscles around me, gazing down at the place where we’re joined so intimately. Then she gazes into my eyes and touches her lips to mine. I cup her head with my land and deepen the kiss, fucking her mouth with my tongue, forcing her to submit to me. And a thrill runs through me when I feel her relax, surrendering to me.

“You feel so good inside me, Ben. So right,” she says when I pull back and watch her face as I grind into her warm, wet heat. “I don’t ever want to lose this.”

I turn to see how Matt is reacting, see him draw in a quick breath and hold it. His face is… I’m not sure how to read it. He’s usually so controlled, so sure of himself, but that cocky, arrogant look is gone and his eyes are wide and maybe even a little… scared. But he’s never scared, never even nervous. He always knows exactly what he wants and how to get it and —

“Matt?”

“What?”

And where my voice was strong and confident, for once I hear insecurity in his.

“I don’t want you to think this is an ultimatum…”

Joss tenses and stares up at me, the fear in her eyes nearly crippling me so badly that I stop asking for what I want. But if we’re all going to be honest, then I know I have to.

“Ben?” Joss whispers. “You’re not going to… Do you still want…?” She half turns to look at Matt, but before she does, she checks herself and returns her gaze to mine. I want to tell her it’s okay to look at him. That she doesn’t need my permission. But another part of me sees a tiny glimmer of hope in that action. And I can only hope Matt will be as accommodating.

“Good girl,” I say. “You’re going to focus on me and only me right now. Understand?” I try not to grin too broadly when her body clenches hard around me at my words. I have no illusions that Matt will be as responsive, but I know I need something… more from him. Some small concession to prove that I’m not just a convenience. Someone he can dominate as a reason for not needing to meet my needs as thoroughly as I try to meet his.

Part of my head is telling me I’m being a giant asshole, and forcing some kind of “If you loved me you would” situation on him. But… I love him, I love them both. And because I love them I do. I’m happy to let them boss me around in the bedroom. I’m happy to let them dominate me. I’m happy to let them take what they need. Is it so bad to ask for it just this once? After all, I enjoy doing all those things with them. I’m not going to deny it. I would just like to know theywere willing to do the same for me. That isn’t too much to ask, is it?

“Sit beside us, Matt,” I order him, and after only the lightest pause, he obeys. It’s a good start. Nowhere near where I intend to take him, but it’s definitely a good start. “I want you to sit there and watch while I fuck our girl, while I make her come. And she’s going to look at you while I do that to her. While it’s my body inside hers. Me bringing her pleasure. Do you understand?”

“I understand,” he says.

With one hand, I grip around the back of her neck while the other goes to her clit and circles it. She soaked, so it’s easy to move my fingers over her in a way that turns her on. “Clasp your hands behind your back, Joss, and keep your eyes open and on Matt. Let him see how good this is for you.”

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