Page 47 of Lust For

“You okay?” he asks.

Surprised by his question, I look over at him. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You just looked really sad. One moment, you looked like you could jump my bones right here, parents and band be damned. The next minute, it looked like you could cry.”

“My parents,” I say, gesturing over to where my mom has her head resting on my dad’s shoulder. “Look how happy they are.”

“They’ve had a lot of wonderful years together.”

“They have. I just wish it wasn’t ending.”

“Me too,” he says, quickly pulling me in for a side hug before releasing me just as fast. “You sure that’s it?”

“Yeah, that’s it. I need a drink,” I say, heading over to the cooler. I can’t tell him that I was wishing that would be me and him someday. I know that’s not the life he would want. Besides, he’s always on tour. I don’t want to hold him back, and I’d like to date someone I can actually see. I’ve done the long-distance thing in the past. It hasn’t gone well. I just assumed this might fizzle and fade when we leave Corolla. But I’ve just not wanted to let on that I feel that way, at least not to him. I’m sure he’ll agree. I just don’t want him to feel like he has to make any declarations of love or commitment when I know that’s not what he wants.

My mom clearing her throat brings me out of my thoughts. I know instantly why she’s doing that. It’s time to let everyone know what’s happening with my dad. Derek must sense it too because I see him move over to stand with Aiden. Brent is looking from me to Derek, his brow furrowed.

“We have something we would like to tell you all,” she begins, her voice trembling a bit despite her best efforts. Mom keeps wringing her hands, leaving her eyes trained on a spot on the floor.

My heart squeezes in anticipation of the words she’s about to say. I hate that she’s about to crush Aiden’s world, but I’m happy he’ll know so that we can lean on each other. Emma comes over and guides me to the bench we were sitting on. I pop open my seltzer and wait for my mom to change our worlds.

“Everything okay, Mom?” Aiden asks.

She sighs, and Aiden rubs the back of his neck, his shoulders slumping forward. He lowers himself onto his own bench, and Derek and Brent join him, waiting to support him in whatever is about to happen.

“I hate to ruin this wonderful night before it really even gets started, but there is something you should know,” she continues. “Something that might help explain why we have decided to sell the house.”

My dad stands up beside her and holds her hand. I steal a glance at Derek, but he’s too busy looking from Aiden to my parents to notice.

Mom takes a deep breath. “There is no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to come out with it. Your dad is sick. He has pancreatic cancer. The doctors aren’t really sure how much time he has left, as treatments aren’t going as we had hoped.” She pauses, looking around the fire.

My eyes shoot to Aiden. His lip is quivering, and he quickly hides it by placing his head in his hands. Emma wraps her arm protectively around me.

“I’m sorry that you had to find out this way, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell you over the phone or when we’ve been on FaceTime.” She’s looking solely at my brother now. He looks up at them and then over at me.

“Did you know about this?” he asks me.

“I did.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He gets on his feet.

Derek and Brent have flanked him. Brent has a supportive hand on his shoulder, but Derek looks like he might be ready to hold him back.

“Because we asked her not to.” My mom speaks up, saving me. “You want to be angry with someone, please be mad at me. She wouldn’t have known anyway had she not just dropped in on us.”

Tears fill my eyes. “I wanted to tell you. I wanted to talk to you about this for so long.”

He makes his way over to me and hugs me quickly before grabbing my hand and taking me over to our parents. “Dad.” His voice comes out in a rasp. He’s openly crying as we all hug. “I love you.”

That’s it. That’s the line that makes my tears turn into sobs. I lose it right there. My parents and Aiden do their best to hold me up. I feel someone hug me from behind, and I know instantly it’s not Emma. It’s not Derek. His hard body is lined up with me, and he’s doing his best to comfort me while my family holds onto me too.

“Fuck, guys, I’m so sorry,” Derek says.

“Me too. So sorry,” Brent echoes.

“Me too,” I hear Emma pipe up, but I’m not sure where she is.

“It’s going to be okay,” my mom says, comforting us. “Your dad is seeing some of the best doctors, and they are doing everything they can to help him. We’ll get through this, kids.”

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