Page 64 of Going All In

“Zachary. He eats his hamburger with no ketchup.”

“Ew. Red flag.” JJ takes a bite, cringing.

I chuckle. “It was almost… fate, maybe, if that’s a thing. Maddox loves ketchup. He puts it on everything. And when Zachary didn’t, it made me realize more than ever that I wanted to be there with Maddox. How much I was hurting him. I was a bitch to him, JJ. I was awful.”

She shrugs. “I kind of tried to tell you.”

True. “I know, and I owe you an apology too, ‘cause I didn’t listen.”

“Forgiven,” she says easily. “But now what’s happening with this bet you made? It was kind of stupid to gamble with feelings, you know.”

You don’t have to tell me that.

“We… Maddox called it off. He said he’ll figure out a way to donate to the foster program, if that’s what I want, but the bet is over.” I pick at my sandwich. It feels kind of anticlimactic, in a way. I got the guy, but I still haven’t fixed the problem with finding a place for Julio.

“Good,” JJ says, pleased. “So, then you banged?”

“JJ! We did not bang. I mean, not right then, anyway.” My cheeks flush. “We went for a walk. He took me through Rittenhouse, actually. It’s all lit up for Christmas. You know how they decorate with the lights all over the trees? I haven’t seen it at night like this in a couple years. Everything felt so magical. It just…” I stop, unable to get the words past the lump in my throat.

JJ waits until I can keep going.

I swallow. “It was magical,” I say again. “It felt the way Christmas used to feel. When my mom was alive. And…”

This time there’s no stopping the silent tears that start to fall.

* * *

It wasn’t the walk through the park.

The beauty of the lights strung up in Rittenhouse touched something inside me, but I don’t think that’s what’s caused this feeling. I think it was the person I was with. Because since Maddox and I walked together through the lit-up Christmas wonderland of the park, I’ve had this feeling inside me that I only remember feeling during the holidays.

A warmth surrounding me, shielding me from the icy winter air.

Lightness, happiness. Anticipation.

A feeling of comfort, like no matter what happens in the year ahead, it’ll be okay because we’re together.

I’m going with Judy to pick up my dress for the wedding. She insisted on seeing me try it on but promised me lunch after the fitting.

She’s the least bridezilla I’ve ever seen this close to a wedding, so I’ll give her this one.

I pull on the gown in the dressing room. It’s a perfect fit, and the color is flattering on me. It’s knee-length, so it’s definitely something I’ll wear again. I smooth out the skirt and spin in front of the mirror.

“How does it look?” Judy calls from outside the dressing room. “Come show me!”

It feels like I’ve known Judy much longer than the few weeks I have. I can see how my dad fell in love with her so quickly. Her calm, unassuming demeanor puts you at ease. She’s easy to talk to.

Except about her son, but we’ll get there.

When I step out of the fitting room, Judy brings her hands to her mouth. “Oh, you look beautiful, Holly,” she says.

I do another twirl in front of the mirror. I feel pretty. The light purple color suits me.

Something occurs to me, though. “Judy, how come you chose purple for a Christmas Eve wedding? It doesn’t seem like a very Christmassy color.”

“Well…” She tilts her head. “I wasn’t sure if you’d be okay with us launching into the Christmas theme. I know that was a very special time for you and your mother. I don’t want to overstep. And this wedding is for fun. I don’t need a fancy wedding, and I don’t care about colors or themes. All I care about is marrying Robert and sharing our happiness with all of you.”

I don’t cry. Okay, I rarely cry. But somehow over the last several weeks I’ve turned into a full-on fountain of tears. The fact that Judy took my feelings into consideration when planning herwedding?

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