Page 9 of Between Hope & Tragedy

I wasn’t going to sit with the family, no matter how much they may have wanted me to. This was supposed to be about my grandfather being laid to rest and if I sat near them, it would only be a matter of time before I snapped.

The priest walked to the front and stood next to the casket. He asked us all to bow our heads as he started to pray. I looked down at my hands and clasped them. I wasn’t much for prayer these days, but I could manage one or two in the memory of the greatest man I had ever known.

Once he was done, he asked if anyone had anything they wanted to say; a special memory to share.

I heard someone clear their throat before the familiar voice said, “I do.”

I jerked my head up and saw the priest motioning the voice toward him. It was Garrett, and he was dressed in a dark-brown suit, white dress shirt, and black tie. His shiny black shoescrushed the grass as he walked with purpose to the front of everyone gathered.

“Greta, with your permission, I think it’s time I talk about this,” he said softly to her. She nodded in agreement and I glanced around nervously.

I had a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach on what he wanted to talk about. But he wouldn’t do it at my grandfather’s funeral, would he? He had to have more common sense than that. As soon as he opened his mouth and started speaking, I realized I couldn’t have been more wrong.

“Fourteen years ago, I destroyed a life,” he began with a heavy sigh. “I destroyed a life that was very near and dear to this man whom we’re here to honor today, and he forgave me for it. He knew somehow, and he still managed to find it in himself to forgive my misdeeds. He, along with his wife, did something I never expected. They stepped in to make sure that the product of my mess would stay close to the family forever; that to me was the greatest gift they could have given to me. And to Zaydee,” he said looking up at me.

I was absolutely mortified. Some of my family glanced at each other and began to whisper as my father stiffened in the front row.

“Because of this man, I got to know that my son was taken care of and has been raised by people who love him. I’ll always be eternally grateful for that. I know I’m not family, but he’s the closest thing to a non-blood relative that I have and I will miss him as much as anyone here. Thank you, Frances,” he said, as he placed a hand on the casket. “Thank you for everything.”

As Garrett started to walk away from the casket, Dad got to his feet and turned to watch him. I could see the rage on his rigid body; he understood now. He now knew that the person who had fathered my child was Garrett and I could tell that he was trying to control himself. Even though I was a twenty-eight year old woman now, I’m sure he still saw me as the terrified fourteen year old who had sat them down one snowy afternoon in December to confess that I was pregnant.

“You son of a bitch,” Dad seethed as Garrett walked past him.

“Larry, sit down,” Mom hissed through her tears.

I watched as Garrett walked away from the entire service, got into his car, and drove away. He had just sent a shockwave through the entire family, and now that his work was done, he was leaving it open for me to fill in the blank spaces.

The rest of the morning was spent face-down on the bed in the hotel room. I couldn’t believe that Garrett had shoved me in between a rock and a hard place and then just left.

God, the way Dad looked at me,I thought with a shudder. I grabbed the sides of the large, fluffy pillow and let out a frustrated scream. I was so angry and relieved at the same time that I didn’t know what to do.

I rolled onto my back, arms and legs spread out, and stared at the ceiling. How could he have done that? Of all the times and places, at Grandpa Frances’ funeral? With an angry grunt, I pushed myself up into a seated position and retrieved the phone book. I flipped the pages until I found the number for Rockford High School again and jabbed the numbers into the phone pad. I was pissed;reallypissed and I wasn’t going to let this go.

“Rockford High School, this is Belle speaking. How may I help you?” the voice asked cheerfully.

“Did Principal Spears return yet?” I barked into the phone.

“Um, yes. He arrived a few moments ago. May I ask who’s calling?” she stammered.

“Zaydee Lansing. Transfer me,” I commanded.

“Please hold,” she said quietly. The sound of the ‘on hold’ music came over the speaker and I felt like punching the wall. I hated ‘on hold’ music, specifically more so when I had something important to say.

“Zaydee?” Garrett asked, in surprise.

“What the fuck was that? At my grandfather’s funeral? Why did you do that?” I yelled into the phone.

“I’m not going to speak to you if you insist on yelling.”

The line clicked dead and I stared at the phone.Did he really just hang up on me?I was outraged and called the school back almost immediately.

“Rockford Hi--”

“Put Spears back on the phone,” I said, cutting her off.

“I’m sorry, but he’s not accepting any more phone calls today. May I take a message?” she asked brightly.

I slammed the phone down and got to my feet. If he wasn’t taking my phone calls, then he could tell me exactly what he had been trying to accomplish in person.

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