Page 42 of You Are Not Me

“You got blown by some random guys, but you seemed into it. Otherwise, no, that’s about it.”

“Are you sure?”

Jeremy laughed. “I’m sure. I was with you until Barry and Daniel showed up. And from where I was standing, everything looked pretty good for you. Is that all you were worried about?”

“Yeah. That’s all.” I let my forehead fall to the counter, and I squeezed Daniel’s hand tighter.That’s all? That’severything. “So, it was just you and a few other guys, and I was the one getting blown?”

“Yeah. You know, this is kind of hilarious. I’ve never heard someone sound so miserable about getting sucked off before. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Thank you.” I sat up again and pushed my glasses up on my nose.

“Is this about that boyfriend?”

“A little, but no. I just don’t do things like that.”

“You’re a big boy now. You’ll figure it all out.”

We exchanged goodbyes, and I had to let go of Daniel’s fingers to walk the phone back to hang up.

When I sat down across from him again, I tried to cover for the fact that I was still feeling horrified and foolish. “I think I’m okay.”

His smile was sweet and his eyes kind. “That’s good news. The statistical likelihood of the virus being transferred to you when you were the one to receive oral is very slim.”

“Do you think I should get tested anyway?”

“That’s up to you. I think it’s always good for guys to get tested if they’re sexually active. There are other diseases you can get too. Herpes and gonorrhea, for starters. We can’t be too careful right now.” His eyes darkened. “I volunteer at AIDS Response Knoxville, so maybe I’m overly aware of this stuff. I’m sorry if I scared you, Peter.”

“No, it’s okay. I needed to be scared. I can’t believe I didn’t know he was giving me drugs.”

Daniel’s eyes grew sharp. “You said that last night. What did you think it was?”

“I thought it was some kind of flavoring.” I laughed in a weird gurgling way like I was drowning. “Can you believe that? Can you believe I was so stupid?”

“You weren’t stupid. You didn’t know. You can’t know things no one’s ever told you or you’ve never experienced. I know I asked last night, but I’m gonna ask again. Did Jeremy give you the GHB without your consent? Some people use it for date rape, and if he—”

“No, no, I don’t think it was like that. He thought I knew. It was a misunderstanding.”

“Okay.” Daniel’s clear eyes searched mine. “You’re sure? Because if not, we need to tell people, so he doesn’t do it to someone else.”

“I’m sure.” I frowned. “Aren’t you sure? Aren’t you his friend?”

“No. Why would you think that?”

“You had his number.”

Daniel flushed and looked away. “He left his number at my apartment one night. It wasn’t a big deal.”

“Oh,” I said, a weird tug in my gut.

Daniel sighed. “We didn’t do anything—Jeremy and me, I mean. My work with ARK has left me a little uptight about the risks I’m willing to take and with whom.” I expected him to say he hoped I’d learned my lesson about taking risks. Instead, he smiled. “I hope this doesn’t scare you away from Tilt-a-Whirl.”

My breath caught at the hopefulness in his voice. “Why’s that?”

“Because I have it on good authority Minty liked you. But, then again, he likes almost everyone. Antonio also thought you were ‘pretty okay’—his words. And Windy wasn’t opposed to further exposure to you either.”

I smiled and looked down at his fingers resting on the counter. They were well-made and long, his fingernails trim and neat. I still felt the tingle of his hand against my palm.

“I liked all of them too.”

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