Page 66 of Almost Priest

“I know.” Nor did he want her to go. “But Sammy, I can’t take you. People would talk.”

“Do you think once you become a priest you’ll never dine in restaurants, Colin?”

“No, but…my family…they’ll want to know why I’m taking you instead of Braydon. It’ll stir questions. It’s bad enough Kelly and Bray already have an idea about what’s going on, but if the women were to find out…”

He shook his head.

The women finding out would definitely not be good.

Sam tried notto wince at his words. She’d been away for only a matter of minutes and it seemed every time he opened his mouth he crushed her heart a little more. She’d always be second choice to the first man she ever loved. She would never be more than a dirty little secret. She was the Hester Prynne, the mistress to his first love—The Church—while Colin was the noble unwavering one.

She was fighting tears and a nagging headache thanks to Kelly’s flask full of whiskey. Sighing, she rolled away from him. At first she didn’t think he’d allow her to get up, his hands tightened on her hip, but then he released her, just as he would tomorrow.

“I should probably shower,” she said, trying not to look at him. Then, because for some reason she wanted to hurt him she said, “So I can get ready for mydate.”

“Samantha,” he implored, but she ignored him.

“Do you mind going so that I can get changed?”

Silently he watched her and then stood. He walked up to her as if to kiss her or perhaps simply lay a hand on her, but did neither. “It’s for the best, Sammy.”

“Maybe I don’t really feel like being the best right now, Colin. Maybe I’m a little tired of always trying to get everything right.”

He looked down, and she knew she was bullying him. Stupid man. He was going to let her just disappear. He couldn’t be satisfied with knowing they had no chance at a future. No, he had to squander their last opportunity to spend time together. She walked to the bathroom door, towel in her hand, and waited for him to leave.

Without making eye contact her gaze followed his slow steps to his room and she shut the door. This time she was the one to lock it.

CHAPTER17

Dinner was nice. It was good for Sam to get away from the others with Braydon. If not her boyfriend, he was still her friend. They talked about school, her graduating, and his senior year. They referenced many inside jokes that only a Villanova student would understand. It was a very pleasant evening.

When Sam and Braydon returned home, the house was settled. Maureen and Frank were watching Antiques Road Show in the den. Kelly was working. Sheilagh was out with Patrick and friends. And Finn—Maureen was displeased to state—was out on a date with his ex, Erin.

Sam never asked where Colin was. He’d made it clear that even their last night together was not worth the others' suspicions. She was at first angry, then sad, then resigned. This was what she had agreed to, two weeks, nothing more. She’d known all along nothing would change his path. She told herself not to take it personally and was really trying hard not to.

These past two weeks Sam had learned things about herself that she never knew. She learned how to kiss a man properly. She learned what it was to truly be intimate with someone, the incredibly freeing sense of letting go in those lost moments of time. She faced her fear of water.

Once she returned home her fears would likely return. It had been Colin’s presence, his gentle coaxing and pride, which had encouraged her to face down her demons. No matter what, he would not let her sink.

Sam sat in the den for a while chatting with Maureen. She was really going to miss the woman. Maureen had packed a basket of homemade bread and a cooler of several loafs that were frozen so Sam would have decent food when she returned to school. She also washed and folded all of her clothes and had Frank purchase her train ticket. Sam was overwhelmed with gratitude for this woman who was perhaps the greatest matriarch of this amazing family she’d come to love.

When the two parents went to bed she sat quietly on the couch a seat away from Braydon. She wanted to trap the scent of this home and keep it with her for all time. Braydon watched her thoughtfully.

“You okay?”

She took a long slow breath. “I’ll be fine.”

“We have to be at the station by twelve tomorrow. We should probably leave here around eleven-thirty at the latest.”

“Okay.”

“You know you're welcome to come back anytime, Sam. My family loves you.”

She made non-committal sound, because that would never happen.

“He won’t always be here, Sam. After summer is over he’ll go wherever they tell him. He may not even stay in the U.S. I know he really enjoyed himself when he was in Ireland.”

She smiled sorrowfully. “Like the rest of you, his presence is written into the bones of this house, Braydon. His absence won’t erase the memory of him, not here or in my mind once I go home. It’ll be hard enough never truly knowing where he is or what he’s doing. To come here and wonder if he may pass through or if he’d recently held a cup, touched the banister where my fingers land, or sat in a seat now empty…that would just be too hard.”

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