Page 65 of Almost Priest

“I don’t see the point. You should be taking her.”

“I can’t.”

“See, that’s the thing, Colin. You can.”

“Take her to dinner, Bray. Give her a nice last night here.”

“And what do you plan to do for her?”

“The most honorable thing I can think of…leave her alone.”

CHAPTER16

When Braydon left the room, Colin knew he should follow. Samantha lay sleeping on the bed, face squished against the side of her arm, nose red, and hair a mess. He went to the door to leave through the hall, unsure where he’d go, but rather than leave, he shut the door and turned the lock.

Colin went to his room and locked his door as well.

It was nearly three o’clock. In his mind the day was shot. He should’ve gone to the church to get some painting done, but his heart wasn’t in it. Turning the wand hanging from the blinds, Colin shut out the sunlight filtering into the room.

He walked to the other side of the bed and stood watching her as she rested in drowsy tranquility. Damn Kelly for getting her drunk. She’d probably wake up with a headache. Not a great way to spend her last day.

Done with his introspective analysis, Colin forced his mind to stop thinking and simply did what he needed in his heart, no matter how unwise. He climbed onto the covers and scooted behind Samantha’s body until her back was pressed to his front. He held her close, hating that this might be his last chance at holding her in such a way.

Her warm body heated his and her clothing smelled of fresh cut grass. Her hair tickled his chin. He loved her. Onlookers had always made such awed references about giving up the right to marry once he became a priest. Such dignified sacrifice for God our Savior. Colin now saw things differently.

Love was an agony that embedded into the soul and infected the mind so completely there was no escaping its reach once it got its claws in a person. Evading marriage was not a sacrifice he made for God, but a mercy God granted him. To his mind, the stronger man was the one brave enough to risk loving a wife, to chance loving her with all of his being until there was nothing left of him, and knowing there always was the possibility of losing her. Colin was not so brave.

He rested beside Samantha for the better part of an hour. He held her gently in his arms, memorizing her scent and the placement of every freckle upon her cheek. He marveled at how full the crests of her dusty eyelashes were and how soft, yet defined, the line was that shaped her lips.

He couldn’t stop remembering the old Irish proverb.A man is incomplete until he marries. After that he is finished.Whoever married this magnificent woman would be doomed.

Sometime later she awoke with a deep sigh followed by a pained moan. Her body stretched within his embrace and he whispered, “Have yourself a wee little nip, did ya?”

She froze.

Turning slowly to face him, she said not a word, but watched him as if testing his presence to see if it was real or the fabrication of some dream.

Finally she whispered, “I’m mad at you.”

“I know. I’m mad at me too.”

“You locked me out.”

Shame knifed through him. How could he explain to her that he was weak, that when he saw her he forgot his place and the commitments he set forth for himself? She took everything important to him away and flipped him inside out until he was barely recognizable as himself. He couldn’t.

“I’m sorry. I needed some time alone.”

The hurt reflected in her eyes tore through him like a blade that had been resting in the flames of a blazing fire. Would he ever forget the fact that he hurt her? Was there a penance great enough for him to forgive himself for such a crime?

“What are you doing here, Colin?”

“I couldn’t stay away.”

“And now that you’re here, will you go again?”

“You have to go to dinner with Braydon.”

She shook her head. “I don’t have to do anything. Braydon cares about taking me to dinner about as much as I care about being there with him. I don’t want to lose the few hours it’ll take. It’s my last night.”

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