Page 39 of Almost Priest

The bed slowly rocked and quiet squeaks filled the room. She prayed no one overheard. She sighed and pressed her mouth into his shoulder to muffle her cries of pleasure.

Deep guttural moans built in his chest and vibrated against her breasts. Their skin was damp causing them to slip over one and other. Closer, closer her body pulled toward something unknown. She wanted to run there and at the same time hold whatever it was back so that the moment never ended.

“Samantha,” he breathed as he kissed her bare shoulder.

“Oh, Colin, please.”

“Yes, Sammy, yes.”

She could sense he only needed to hit that spot a couple more times and….Her mind stepped out as her body came alive and locked. It was as if she were momentarily dying, or flying, there was nothing but peace.

Her limbs twitched and her flesh covered with goose bumps. Her neck arched back and her body bowed off of the bed into him. He continued to grind into her and he appeared to suffer the same release. His arms trembled as they held his weight over her. Neck arched, his head fell back as he moaned long and hard.

Sam could feel warm moisture between them and knew it was their climax. She’d had her first real orgasm and he never even penetrated her or removed her clothing.

When he kissed her he did so with such affection. The distance she knew would come with the next day made Samantha ache. She wondered if allowing herself to get this close to such an incredible man was really worth it after all.

She’d never been so attracted to another person, never experienced such acute desire in her entire life. It was as if he fulfilled her so much all the empty places of her soul no longer pained her.

She realized since entering his room hours ago, she hadn’t thought of Meghan once. He made her pain go away and he was the first person to ever give her that peace.

Damn her for loving one more person who would be irrevocably ripped away from her. Resentment toward God suddenly choked her. It was as if she were the same helpless little girl who just lost her sister all over again. Only this time when she cried, she had Colin there, holding her tightly. She wasn’t sure if his presence made it better or worse in the end, but the fact that he patiently allowed her to cry without asking for explanations was a blessing.

CHAPTER9

Over the next few days Colin did his absolute best to avoid Samantha. The morning after she’d come to his bed, he awoke to the soft click of the bathroom door shutting sometime around dawn. She didn’t return.

That day, and the days following it, he spent at the youth center working with local teens on a project to redevelop the local park. He hadn’t returned home until late in the evening and only saw Samantha in passing. She was occupied with others and unable to speak to him about what happened.

He hated that he was possibly hurting her with his avoidance, but he didn’t know what else to do. He wanted her with a fierceness he’d never felt before and yet he could never completely have her. They hadn’t slept together, but in some way, what they had shared seemed all the more intimate.

Not only was he becoming a Diocesan Priest, he was a practicing Catholic to the bone. He believed in abstinence until marriage. Unsure if Samantha still held her virtue, considering otherwise was altogether intolerable, but he was as inexperienced as they came. Never before had he kissed another being so intimately, touched another’s flesh so personally, struggled with temptation so intensely. He needed to keep his distance or once again risk losing control.

Colin didn’t know if Samantha talked to his brother. Braydon would no doubt feel the sting of rejection, but his younger brother had to know Sammy was not invested emotionally in whatever they shared.

The day he saw Braydon kissing her…he never in his life suffered such aching jealousy. It was a hybrid reaction created from envy, anger, and many other sins. He was breaking a commandment and coveting a woman who belonged to not just another man, but his brother.

He tried to stay away, realizing he was only hiding from his fears. Attempting to brush off the attraction, he followed the others to the beach. He intended to leave her be, but for some reason he found every word she said fascinating. And then she suffered a panic attack.

Colin wasn’t sure what triggered her reaction. They had been speaking of childhood goals and suddenly she was paler than a ghost and struggling to breathe. His fear for her in that moment was completely irrational and inappropriate, but so very, very real.

It aggravated him that Braydon had been neglecting her, yet it irritated him to see his brother with Sammy. What’ve happened if Sammy had another episode like the one on the beach and no one was there to help her come back to herself? Damn Braydon for being too selfish to not give her the time he owed her and the company she deserved.

By Friday Colin was running out of errands and places to hide. He awoke thinking he’d visit the church and see if they had anything that needed tending. Perhaps there was a senior who needed a ride to a doctor’s appointment that would take up the majority of his day. Pathetic. Was this how he was going to ride out the next week?

Samantha was supposed to be staying with them until the seventeenth. There was one week left. As much as he wanted her to go he wanted her to stay. How would he survive the next week without being able to touch her, laugh with her, hold her in his arms? Never before had the idea of celibacy terrified him so. Even the temptation to bring himself to release while thinking about her in the shower or in the privacy of his room was novel. He’d never been one to masturbate, but since meeting Samantha he struggled to withstand the temptation.

It was lust, he told himself repetitively. Samantha was a lovely woman, easy to care for, a pleasure to spend time with. Any man with eyes and a brain would undoubtedly feel the same way. He was merely one victim in the long line of men that would someday lose their hearts to Samantha Dougherty. But if that was true, and what he was feeling was simply lust, why would this impatient yearning for her not fade?

The scent of home cooked breakfast filtered from below and he wanted to be out of the house before everyone rose for the day. Grabbing his phone and keys, he quickly left his room. He paused when he caught Braydon knocking on Sam’s bedroom door.

“Hey, Col, you taking off again today?”

Colin stuck his items in his pocket and tried not to appear as guilty as he felt while looking at Braydon. “Yeah. I need to head down to the church to help out with some things.”

“Oh yeah? What’s goin’ on down there?”

Before he could answer with a lie Samantha opened the door. Her hair was damp and her clothing was somewhat clinging to her skin. She’d obviously just gotten out of the shower when Braydon knocked.

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