Page 34 of The Refusal

“She’s on the other side, Fab.”

“Yeah, but you can’t be good at one without being good at the other.”

“Is that right?” I say.

“Are you good at both?”

“Are we still talking about hacking here?”

Fabian snorts. “Why’s she helping you anyway? You been hacked?”

Curiosity worms through me with this question. How much does he know? Whydidhe have a map of my system on his desk? He’d know about my hacking if he was involved, but of course he’d need to pretend he didn’t. Yuck. I hate this kind of double thinking. Then he pulls me back into the conversation.

“I thought Matt was pretty hot on this.”

“Yeah, he is. But we needed an independent eye on it.”

“Why didn’t you come to me?”

How do I answer this? Surely he can’t be doing anything if he’s asking me questions like this?

“It wasn’t really my decision, to be honest. Bob knew Jo through her professor at college. She’s got a good reputation.”

“Jo Williams?”

“Yeah. You know her?”

“I’ve come across her name a few times. She was part of that Caltech thing, wasn’t she?”

“Yep, we’ve had one incident that she’s sorted out, but she’s sorting out some other security on our network anyway.”

“Pleased to hear it.” His tone is neutral, and I can’t judge it. “If you need my help, let me know. Bring her over. I want to see with my own eyes that she’s not into the godlike Janus Phillips.”

“Shut up,” is all I manage to get in before he mumbles something about his mac and cheese and hangs up on me.

21

Janus

“She’s lovely.”

Fabian’s voice is right in my ear as he sneaks up behind me in the kitchen like a genie, leaning out and grabbing a wedge of feta and popping it in his mouth. I’ve been tasked with lunch, and the bench littered with crumbs, plates piled high with food. Although I think Jo’s amazing, something warms inside me at my best friend giving her the seal of approval. My face breaks into a huge smile as I stare down at the knife in my hand.

“Lucky bastard,” he mutters as he leans back against the counter and crosses his tattooed arms across his chest, watching me slice avocado onto a piece of toast.

I shake my head. “Oh, she’s not mine, believe me.”

“Only a matter of time, yeah? Trust me.”

I laugh and lean into him, nudging his shoulder. “She might have a friend,” I say, and he snorts at this.

“No woman who’s friends with Jo would go near a guy like me.”

My eyes narrow. I’ve watched Fabian hold on to normal life by a thread since we were at college, but even I can see he’s slowly unraveling and disappearing down some rabbit hole. He’s getting thinner and more erratic, and I don’t like the way he’s starting to look—the gaunt tinge his face is taking on. Not for the first time I’m unhappy with myself for being too involved in my company over the last three years. I’ve got to come by more often, code with him regularly. I put the knife down carefully, turning to take him by the shoulders.

“Fab …”

But he doesn’t meet my eyes and he shakes his head, so I stare at him for a few beats before moving back, picking up a piece of cheese and swallowing down the lecture that was bubbling up my throat.

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