Page 81 of The Refusal

“Read it,” he says, looking at his monitor. “I’m going to send you the link right now.”

A notification pops up at the bottom right of my screen, and when I click over to the web page, a heart-stopping picture of Janus appears. His hair is in disarray, biceps curving above his arms folded over some band T-shirt … but it’s the headline of the article that makes my heart seize.

Young and in love.

Jesus Christ. Nausea swells in the back of my throat, heat crawling up my neck. What am I looking at? The scrutiny has all died down—what the hell is this now? For God’s sake …

“What is hedoing?” I grip the mouse tighter to stop the tremor in my fingers.

Des is frowning over the screens at me, and I glower back at him. I must look half-crazed because he shakes his head.

“Read it,” he growls.

The page on my screen goes down and down and down as I scroll. Crap. I flick back to the beginning. The whole of the first part is about him and how he got started in tech, his company. He’s charming the pants off the interviewer. My eyes stray to the name of the journalist: a guy. Well, at least it’s not some woman who’s fawning all over him.

“Press speculation has been building about security at Janus Industries, and two weeks ago a picture of you with Jo Williams surfaced in Hong Kong.”

“That’s right,” Janus replies, “we were looking at the systems in our office out there.”

The tight band that’s taken over my chest eases a bit.

“And you confirmed recently Jo’s working on protecting your company?”

“Yes. Every large organization is targeted by hackers these days, and we need to be at the forefront of what’s happening in the field and safeguarding ourselves. Williams Security was recommended to us after they helped Caltech sort out a tricky hacking issue, and I think the public scrutiny around that made every fast-growing tech company take a long hard look at their systems. Jo Williams is brilliant; I’ve never met anyone who has the ability to visualize a network and highlight all the weak points like she does, plus the tech expertise to sort it out. The team at Williams Security is outstanding, but she’s the jewel in the crown. She’s made our system what it is today, without Jo and her professionalism we wouldn’t be able to deliver the service we do to our clients.”

I go back to the start of the section and read it again. He described the guys as outstanding, I trip over the words “jewel in the crown.” My chin slumps into my cupped hands, eyes fluttering closed as I rest my elbows on the desk. He saidthatabout me? My chest aches.

“And there’s been some speculation in the press about a personal relationship between yourself and Miss Williams?”

Oh,God.

“That’s right, but she’s way too good for me,” Janus jokes.

“You sound like that’s something you regret.”

I wince at the interviewer’s questions; I want the floor to swallow me up. Is everyone in here reading this? My eyes flick over the bent heads. The thought of how quiet I’ve had to be; Kate has been my only sounding board. Heat climbs in my face as I focus back on the screen.

“Every guy would fall in love with Jo Williams, but she’s been the consummate professional with me.”

My stomach drops through the floor, and I try to take a deep breath, but my ribs are constricting the air in my chest. Is he saying what I think he’s saying? I stare around the office dazed. Outside the window, the sun is streaming down, the hiss and thud of a truck rumbling past. What am I doing? I’m sacrificing everything I might have with Janus for some idea I’m being professional. Am I being the biggest idiot right now? Is he right? Am I good enough? Can I take this risk with him? I scan down the article, it carries on talking about his plans for the business. Before I’ve thought to move, I’m on my feet. He hasn’t done what I wanted him to do. He hasn’t kept it quiet or said, “No comment,” he’s deliberately gone out and made a statement. He’s put his head right on the chopping block. It’s the craziest strategy: He’s not Fabian’s best friend for nothing.

James appears at his desk and gestures at me over the screen.

“What?” I whisper when he waves the office phone at me.

“I’ve got Carly on line one and the Chief Executive of Samsung on the other,” he says.

“Samsung?”

His eyes are bugging out, and he’s giddy as he nods.

“Put him through, and tell Carly I’ll ring her straight back.”

An hour later, I hang up after the longest and most detailed call about security of my life. The guy had read the interview, and he wants us to review the system on their phones. I press a stretched palm into my chest; it would be a huge deal just to do the trial he’s considering. They want me to fly out to Korea in the next few days. I’m reeling.

Des and James are studiously studying their screens, but their tension seeps across the desks: They’ve listened to every answer I gave.

“Damn Janus,” I say, “he might have warned us he was going to throw a high-level bit of promotion our way. You guys better be ready to help me step this company into the big time.”

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