Page 60 of The Refusal

“More than okay; very, very good in fact,” I say.

“You liked what we did last night?” He’s chewing his bottom lip, and it makes something soft and warm light up inside. I want to him understand how good this feels.

I smile at him, nodding. “You?”

“Yes, fuck I want more,” he says.

What doesthatmean? Sex or something else? A shiver runs through me,something elsefeels like far too much right now. I search his gaze, but his face is still sleepy and warm, and so I tilt my hips and his length slides forward again through my wetness. He pulls back and I pout at him.

“Let me get a condom on,” he whispers, stretching down to run his tongue along my lips. “Let me touch you first.”

As he nibbles on my skin, his hand slides between us to find the smooth skin of my mound and goose bumps break out on my arms and chest. I flatten my hands on his sides, sliding down, digging my fingers into his butt and squeezing—hard.

“Oh God, this ass.” My voice breaks on an exhale, and it forces a laugh out of his throat. “I can’t believe …”

He pulls back slightly out of my grip, propping himself on both hands. “You can’t believe what?”

“That day at the elevator …”

“When we first met?” he asks, and I nod, teeth sawing over my bottom lip.

“What about it?”

“You were gorgeous, ridiculously cute, if I’m being honest. I just never thought …” I trail off, whispering, “I never thought we’d end up here, that we’d actuallydothis.”

He’s frowning at me, and my throat constricts. I don’t know what we’re doing here. I’ve been holding a hand up and now I feel like I’ve dropped it, and the thought makes me cold. But Janus just gives me cocky grin and moves closer, rubbing his nose with mine. How can he be socute?I want to trust this.

“I was chatting you up,” he says, tilting his head. “You weren’t having any of it. I was desperate to find out who this beautiful woman was getting into my elevator.”

Beautiful?Is he kidding? “Yeah, I reckon you’re not great at picking up women.” Deflecting is my only defense; otherwise I’d just dissolve into a puddle.

He screws up his face like he’s trying to look offended, and that expression with his hair makes me snort. How bad were we in the elevator that day? I was a goof and he came out with some awful lines. But my snort vibrates all the way down to where he’s resting against me so I shift my hips and he groans, leaning forward and sticking his nose into my chest, dragging it over my collarbone and biting the edge of my shoulder.

“Jo.”

The sensation of the tip of his cock resting against my folds makes me shiver. I want to talk but I also want to be here like this with him. I reach down to wind my hand around his length, rubbing my thumb gently over him, and it makes my heart turn over to see his eyes pinch as he struggles for breath.

I push on his chest and he looks down at my hand, but I don’t release the pressure, so he sits right back on his heels as I hold out my hand.

“What?” he says.

“Condom,” I say.

He laughs, tipping sideways over the edge of the bed to rummage through the crumpled heap of clothes on the floor. I swallow and stare at the map of muscle, tense as he’s bending, running my hands up and down his thighs, grinning as his cock lifts and his hands fumble. Eventually, he finds something in the back pocket of his jeans and twists back up, pressing it into my hand. I turn it over, peering at the crumpled packaging.

“What?” he says, looking at it with a frown.

It looks like a herd of wild beasts have trampled all over it.He had a condom in his back pocket. His odd relationship history niggles away at the back of my brain.

“Is this your ‘getting lucky tonight’ condom you keep in your jeans?” I say.

I catch an almost imperceptible flinch as he rubs his hand over his chest. I shouldn’t have said that.

“If it is, the state of it doesn’t say much for my success rate.”

Okay, Jo, it’s worn because it’s not been used.

“But no actually,”—he gives me a mock frown—“this is the ‘be prepared’ condom that went in my pocketbefore dinner,” he says, stressing the words. “For when we both got completely carried away and couldn’t make it back to the room.”

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