Page 53 of At My Worst

He nods and smiles, then leans in and connects his lips to mine, causing me to moan. He pulls back and smiles as he turns and walks out of the swinging doors.

How is this man real?

How is any of this real?

“Not fair,” I say after him.

I turn and follow behind him. It is not fair that he can make me melt with one fucking look, touch, or word. Not fair at all. But I can see it. I do the same to him. We are like drugs to each other, and just one taste is not enough.

I follow closely behind as Alexander sets the box on the ground and starts to put the bottles away. I stop at his side and grab two bottles, placing them on the shelves.

“You don’t have to help, you know,” he says in a distant voice, catching me off guard a little.

“I know, I want to,” I confess.

I don’t mind helping. It is actually fun, and the bar is different from doing therapy with people. With the bar, I don’t have to think logically. I can be carefree and just do what needs to be done. I have seen people unloading on Alexander about their lives, but it is not the same. The bar gives me an escape from my own reality, and it is nice that I can escape with Alexander. This bar is important to him. I can see it, and if I can help, I will.

He turns and looks at me for a moment, then continues to place the bottle of booze on the shelve.

“What?” I ask him, feeling nervous.

He takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “Nothing, it’s just I am not used to this,” he admits.

“What?” I ask, watching him closely.

“My partner wanting to help with the bar,” he says softly.

“Well, I am not used to a lot of things you do, but here we are,” I say softly with a small smile.

He nods and continues to put the bottles away. I don’t think I have ever seen him be the uncomfortable one, but he seems that way with me right now. I don’t know much about his ex, only what he has told me and what I have heard around town. From my understanding, Brittany has also been selfish and only wanted to take from Alexander and not give anything in return.

We are a storm of a mix, he and I.

I was not desired, and he was not appreciated for his affection.

We are like hot flames when we are together. I think it is because we are both giving each other something we have always wanted but never got. We have already cut each other with ourwords, but in the end, we have licked each other’s wounds and intertwined them in such a breathtaking way.

I am not a dominant kind of person. I don’t take charge, and I have learned with Alexander I enjoy being the submissive one during sex, but right now, he is the one who seems unsure. He is the one who seems to need me to revalidate who he is to me.

We both come from a past of trauma, and our relationships are the foundation of that trauma. He has been helping me heal, and now it is my turn to remind him of who he belongs to and who he is.

I slowly turn my back and lean against the counter. I watch Alexander lean back down to grab two more bottles, giving me the perfect amount of room to move between him and the counter. He stands up straight, a bottle in each hand. He watches me closely as he leans forward, setting down the bottles behind me and resting his hands on the counter, boxing me in.

“What are you doing?” He asks.

I tilt my head to the side, looking over his face and stopping back on his eyes. He is the most gorgeous man I have ever seen. His jawline is sharp, he has a shadowing of hair on his jaw, and his eyes are so damn green.

I grab onto the top of his pants, making sure to keep my eyes on him. He needs me to remind him of something his brain is making him forget. He needs me to remind him that he is dominant and in control and that I am not her.

Just like he continues to remind me that he is not my husband.

“Ever wanted a stranger to suck your cock in the bar that you own?” I ask softly.

His eyes rapidly search mine as I unbutton and unzip his pants.

He keeps his hands firmly on the counter as I slowly kneel in front of him, bringing his pants and boxers with me. I keep my eyes on him as I grab his hard cock.

His eyes are burning with desire, passion, and love for me as I stick out my tongue and lick from his base to the tip, licking the drop of pre-cum from the tip.

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