Page 37 of At My Worst

I tighten my grip on her throat, restricting her breathing slightly as I fuck her rough and fast. “Be my bad fucking girl, and scream for me,” I say as I kiss down her jawline, my body completely connected with hers.

She was made for me, and I was made for her.

“Alexander!” She screams as I demand. Her screams of pleasure fill the night.

Her pussy clenches around me, and my balls tighten as I fill her with my cum. “Fuck me,” I huff against her skin as I press my chest to her back.

Our breathing fills the area as I hold her tight, my cock softening inside her, but I’m not ready for this moment to end.

“Tell me what I need to do to prove that I love you,” I ask her.

“Never turn me down,” she whispers in ashamed voice.

I stay quiet for a moment. Letting her words circle my brain.

Motherfucker, that is why she is the way she is with sex. He held sex from her.

“I promise I will never turn you down. I will fuck you anywhere, anytime, without question,” I confess to her.

I release my grip on her throat and hand and slowly pull out of her. I step back and help her off the table. She stands up straight, pulls her skirt down, and steps back into her underwear. She slowly turns around and sits against the table. I tuck myself back into my clothes, watching her closely as I button up my pants.

I walk into her, placing my hands on either side of her. She looks at me, her eyes filled with emotions. “Is that what he did to you, Bianca? He held sex from you,” I ask, hearing the rage in my voice.

She nods. “In a way, yes, he always had an excuse of why we shouldn’t.”

I tilt my head to the side. “I will never do that,” I promise.

She nods again, but I can see in her eyes she doesn’t believe me. He must have told her so many things, so many lies. I don’t know if she will ever believe my words entirely, but she responds to actions, so actions are what I will give her.

I lean in and gently connect my lips to hers. She melts against me and opens her mouth, once again causing my entire body to react to her.

She has no idea what she does to me and continues to do to me, so I will show her. I promise I will.

15

Bianca

“Paint It, Black”by Ciara

Making my way down the hallway and into the bar, I can smell bacon, eggs, and fresh coffee. When I walk around the corner, I see two plates at the end of the bar, with two coffee cups and a pot of coffee and creamer next to the plates. I wrap my arms tightly around myself as I walk to my usual spot.

I was drunk last night, but I remember everything. Every single word Alexander confessed to me, and every single word I admitted to him. I was emotional and out of control last night, but in the end, he calmed the storm that was raging inside me.

I confessed a little more to him without giving away too much. I don’t share what has happened to me because most don’t understand. They won’t see it the way I do. I have been judged so much in my life, and I don’t want this to be another thing where people look at me as if I am making something out of nothing.

I sit down, pour myself a cup of coffee, and add some creamer while I listen to Alexander making breakfast in the back. I have never been much of a breakfast person, but it is a kind gesture. He is doing things I haven’t had anyone do for me in a long time.

I bring the mug to my nose and inhale deeply as I close my eyes and blow on the coffee. I feel ashamed and guilty for telling Alexander about being turned down for sex by my husband. It was hard sharing that secret piece of my life, but I felt he needed to know to help him understand me better.

I walked out of the bedroom after I waited for the last two hours for him to come home, but it gave me time to light all the candles, take a bath, and find the right outfit to wear for him. I make my way down the hallway and into the kitchen to find him making a drink. He turns and looks at me; his eyes look me up and down, but he doesn’t say anything.

So I ask. “Did you have a good day?”

“Yeah, it was busy but good, just tired,” he says as he sighs heavily.

I don’t say anything as he shuts the fridge door. “Can we watch a movie tonight, and we can, you know, when I am not tired, maybe if I sit down for a little while?” He asks as he walks towards me.

“Sure, let me go change.”

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