Page 2 of At My Worst

I slowly open my eyes and wipe the tears away. I hate that I cry so much. I seem to cry about everything lately, but maybe it is just my mind trying to understand what is happening because I have no idea.

I turn and look out my window. I can hear and see the ocean waves lapping at the shoreline. I have no idea what time I pulled over, but I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore.

I slowly sit up straight and grab the steering wheel. I watch as the sun comes up over the waves. It is a breathtaking sight. I can’t tell you how long it has been since I have seen the ocean or smelt the salty air, but it is refreshing.

I look down at my phone. There are no new messages or missed calls. I grab my phone and wallet and get out of the car.

I look up when I hear squawking above me and tightly wrap my arms around myself. Looking to my right, I see a tavern painted on the side of the building in big blue and white letters; it says, “The Rocky Shore Tavern,” which is fitting for an ocean town. The parking lot is filled with cars, which I hope means they have good food. When I pulled in here last night or this morning, whatever you want to call it, the parking lot was dark, and no one was here.

How long had I been asleep?

I look back down at my phone and see that it’s just after seven in the morning, so not long enough, I can tell you that.

I take a deep breath as my stomach makes a loud and annoying sound.

I look back at the waves and take another deep breath, letting the salty air fill my lungs as I close my eyes. I don’t think I have any tears left, at least not right now.

My body is sore and beyond tired, but I need food. I have no idea what town I am in, but I know I am now in Washington.

I can take a little time and get something to eat, and then I will get back on the road and see where it takes me. The farther I get from my old life, the better.

2

Alexander

“The Death Of Peace Of Mind”by Bad Omens

Ican hear people out in the restaurant laughing and talking. There was a line at the door this morning, which is a good thing. We need the money to keep this place open.

Last I checked on Pops, he was passed out on the couch at home, and from what I can tell, he downed a whole bottle last night. It is easier to stay here at the tavern, so I don’t have to deal with that mess right now. I have too many things that need to be taken care of. My pops can wait. He will be fine. He will sleep it off and come stumbling in tonight when he knows it is happy hour.

“Xander,” I hear someone yell at the door. I would know that voice anywhere. Josh. He pulls me from my imploding, depressing thoughts, just like he always has.

“What?” I yell back.

“Good morning, Sunshine,” he says at my side.

“It is way too early for you to be this happy,” I say calmly as I watch the eggs.

“It is called sleep, man. You should try it,” he says jokingly. I can feel his eyes on me.

I smile and shake my head; crazy ass, dude. “Get your ass out there and bus some tables for me.” I point out to the crowded restaurant.

“Yes, Sir,” Josh says as he smiles and walks out the swinging doors.

I fill four plates with eggs, pancakes, bacon, and sides of gravy, put it on the counter under the heat lamps, and ring the bell.

“Coming,” Josh says with amusement.

Josh stops in front of the opening and grabs all four plates. I stand still, staring at him. He nods and gives me a wink.

Stupid. I laugh, shake my head, and move on to the next set of plates. I hear the bell ring over the door.

“Joshy,” I scream.

He doesn’t answer as I load up the next set of plates, put them on the counter, and push open the swinging door. I grab my order pad and stop in front of the bar, ready to take the newcomer’s order, but when I look up, my heart fucking stops.

A pair of brown eyes locked with mine for a moment, and then she quickly looked away. She sits down at the end of the bar, setting down her phone and wallet.

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