Page 22 of At My Worst

He doesn’t understand. I am shattered and am not good for anyone.

“Please, I beg you. Do not do this, please. I am…” I stop and take a deep breath, taking a few more steps back until my backhits the wall. My heart races as he matches me step for step until he is standing in front of me, watching me.

“You are what?” He asks.

“Not worth it,” I whisper as I lower my head.

He lifts his hands and cups my face, forcing me to look at him. His eyes burn into me like a dangerous fucking fire. “You are to me,” he says, staring into my eyes straight to my broken soul.

“I will only disappoint you, Alexander. I am trying to protect you,” I explain.

He needs to listen to me. He needs to understand that I am not who he thinks I am. I am not a good person. I am not someone worthy of the love he has to offer. He deserves someone that is not me.

“From what?”

“From me,” I scream as I try to push him away from me. He doesn’t move, and as my body starts to shake, he pins me against the wall and places his leg between mine.

“What did he do to you, baby?”

His words cut me deeper than any knife ever could. His question is the same one I have been running from, the question I don’t want to answer.

“It wasn’t his fault. It was mine. I wasn’t what he needed. I tried. I tried every fucking day, but I always fell short. It was my fault,” I cry in defeat.

“Bianca.”

“No,” I interupt him. “You don’t understand. I will hurt you. I will break you. I will cut you. You don’t want this, you don’t want me,” I urge.

“Don’t tell me what I want.”

“Alexander, this is why I only wanted physical. I can handle physical, but I can’t handle this. The look in your eyes is killing me,” I plead as I feel the small piece of happiness I found here shatter with my confession.

“Let me keep you alive then, Bianca. Let me suffer beside you. Let me bleed for you,” he begs.

I don’t say anything. I am at a loss for words as he lowers his hands from my face and grabs the bottom of my dress. He slowly pulls it up my body and tosses it to the side. Grabbing onto my underwear, he pushes them down, and they fall to my ankles. I slowly step out of them.

“Hurt me, Bianca,” he says as he unbuttons his pants.

“Break me, Bianca,” he confesses as he unzips his pants.

“Cut me, Bianca,” he says as he grabs my legs, lifting me off of the ground and slamming me against the wall.

I wrap my legs around his waist and place my hands against his chest. His heart is racing so fucking fast. His eyes stay on me as he leans in and grabs onto my throat, forcing me to submit to him.

“I want all of you. All the sharp, shattered pieces of you. I want all of it. Do you hear me?”

“Yes,” I cry as he reaches between us and slams into my aching pussy.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” he apologizes as he pulls out to the tip and slams into me again.

I cry out in pleasure and pain as his salty scent falls over me, and he plants his hand next to my head on the wall.

“I never should have told you to leave,” he says as he rolls his hips, grinding my clit against his pubic bone.

“I will never ask you to leave again, baby, I promise,” he promises me with a voice of fire as he starts to move in and out of me.

“Oh my,” I say as my stomach fills with butterflies.

“I have trust issues, Bianca,” he says as he leans in, nibbling my lower lip. He sucks it into his mouth, then releases my lip and slowly kisses up my jawline to my ear. My pussy pulses against his cock as he continues to hit the same spot over and over again.

---