Page 6 of At My Worst

He makes me feel stupid and dumb. He makes me feel like I am going crazy.

Ugh, my head. I roll over onto my back and wipe the tears from my face. The dreams just keep coming on a never-ending loop going through the last ten years of my life. I ran to get away from them, but now I see that it is impossible when my mind won’t let me forget and escape my past.

My heart stopped as I went through what had happened. I opened my eyes and quickly sat up.

“Ouch,” I say as I rub the side of my temple.

My vision starts to clear. The sun is shining through the window, and I can hear the waves crashing.

What the fuck happened?

I lean back against the bed frame and slowly look around the room I woke up in. It is older wood, and pictures of the ocean cover the walls. When I look to the side of the bed, I find two pills and some juice.

I lean over and grab them, popping them in my mouth as I take a big drink of the juice.

“You are awake,” I hear a man say.

I quickly turn and look at the man standing next to the bed.

He is about six feet tall, with light brown hair long enough to slick back. His eyes are deep green, and his neck and arms are covered in ink. He is wearing a tight black v-neck t-shirt, black skinny jeans, and boots.

I look over him a few times before I look into his eyes again. He slowly takes a seat on the edge of the bed facing me.

I lean over and set down the juice. “Where am I?” I ask, feeling my chest tighten.

I usually am not the kind of woman to go into a bar and blackout, but I have a feeling there are a lot of things I have never done that I probably will start doing. I thought the booze would drown out the voices in my head, but it didn’t. I should have known better. Wishful thinking, I know.

“The tavern,” he answers calmly.

I don’t hear any rage, anger, or irritation. I can only hear the concern in his tone for someone he doesn’t even know.

“Shit, what time is it?” I ask, panicking.

“Noon.”

“Fuck” I say, resting my head on the wall and closing my eyes.

“Do you remember last night?” He asks, getting my attention again.

“Nope, but that was the point,” I say with amusement.

I open my eyes and turn my head, locking eyes with the stranger again.

“Why, what did I do?” I ask, seeing the concern in his eyes.

He tilts his head to the side, causing some brown hair to cover his eyes partially.

“Well, we fucked,” he says, watching me closely.

“Oh shit,” I say as I lower my head and run my hands over my face.

“You, okay?” He asks in a concerned voice.

I let out a small laugh and lowered my hands. “Yeah, I’m good,” I say, laughing again.

“What is so funny?”

“Well, fucking a stranger has always been a fantasy of mine. I just never thought I would actually do it,” I say, looking at the stranger. He is gorgeous and mysterious and has brought one of my fantasies to life.

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