Page 29 of At My Worst

“Seriously?” He asks, trying to hide his amusement.

“It’s not ready yet,” I explain.

“Can I read it when it is?” He asks.

I stop and look at him. “You want to read my book?”

“Of course I do.”

I feel my heart stop with his words. I push back the tears that are trying to build in my eyes. “Okay, once it is edited, you can,” I confirm.

He smiles. “Promise?”

“I promise,” I say, trying to reassure him.

He smiles and nods as I turn and walk down the hallway into my room. I hear him moving around in the living room as I drop the towel to the ground and open my drawer. Grabbing underwear and socks, I sit down in the chair, put my socks on, and then my underwear. I lean over, open the second drawer, and grab my joggers. I stand up and quickly put them on. I go to the closet and grab the first sweatshirt and t-shirt I see, putting both of them on quickly as I slip on my shoes and turn.

Alexander is leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest as he studies me.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

“Looking at you,” he responds so easily it makes the wetness between my legs increase. The way he looks at me drives me crazy. He doesn’t hide his sexual desires of wanting me, and I have to say I never want him to.

I shake my head, walk over to him, and slide past him. He grabs my hand and follows me as we head down the hallway and through the living room to the front door.

“Oh shit, hang on,” I say as I run over to the table. Grabbing my phone, I turn back around. He has the door open, waiting for me.

He reaches out his hand, and I make my way over to him, taking his hand in mine.

Simple little gestures from him are not simple to me. Actually, they are a huge deal.

He leans in and kisses my forehead before we walk out of my rental. He closes the door as I walk down the steps and squeezes my hand as we walk to his truck.

I don’t know where this man came from, but I do know I am grateful, so fucking grateful.

12

Alexander

“If I Showed You”by Henry Verus

Ihold her hand tightly as I guide her down the pathway. Well, I mean, if you want to call it that. I have been coming to this waterfall for years and have created my own path. This is where I would come whenever I needed to try to escape myself.

Somedays, it would work, and other days, I still felt like I was drowning in everything I wished I could forget.

“This is one of my favorite places,” I explain.

“I can’t wait to see it,” she replies, holding my hand tightly. She grabs my arm with her other hand as we go deeper into the woods.

“This place kinda saved me when everything happened with my ex,” I tell her as we continue to walk down the dark trail.

This is the one place Brittany didn’t fucking take from me. The one place she didn’t fucking taint.

“The girl from the theater?” Bianca asks softly.

I fucking hate that she knows about Brittany at all. She has always thought she was better than she is and treated people like shit. It wasn’t just me. She treats everyone in her life like they are a piece of shit and she is the queen. Of what? I don’t fucking know, but she thinks very highly of herself.

“Yeah, Brittany,” I confirm, hearing the bitterness in my tone.

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